Cold Tile and Pink Shoes

It all started with the assumption I was being jealous by way of a sarcastic comment and it was passed on to a judgmental person. I accidently read this word which then caused me to lose my balance, fall into a ledge and rip the back pocket of my favorite pair of jeans...Damn long boards. I decided to leave early, really early. As I left his eyes were guilty and scared. His roommate was pissed at him. The air was tense and the goodbyes were insincere. I felt like crying until I got a phone call. "I didn't mean it." he said "Lieing's a sin." I replied. After trying to talk on the phone I turned the car around and went back to talk to him in person...Everything's better in person.

Suckiest part of all this is that I've gotten attached somehow without anything romantic conspiring. "I should only cuddle with people I'm romantically interested in." he said. As my heart sank and my cold became ten times worse feeling...I wanted to run away. I often want to run away in these types of situations. Why am I always the girl people cuddle with and then regret doing it? It's like the Christian version of prostitution...Funny part is I never am the initiator...(what? it's true!)

He doesn't know how I feel, and as far as I know he never will. Blue eyes and perfect hugs not only fix a situation, they make a heart want more. I just keep wondering how on EARTH I let myself fall for this guy. I never even hang out with him! I'd be soo relieved if someone just told me it was merely an attraction, nothing more...But I don't think it is.

I work 9 hours a day now...with a brand new cold, that's pretty hellish seeing as how this virus that's taken up an inhabitance in me is free floating all around my work space...These are not the best of days in my life...But I went to Ironman with the boys and it is awesome.