My favorite part of my paper
My cat puts up with me so much it is incredible. I toss her in the air, flip her over my shoulder, and treat her like a circus act, yet she never turns on me and I never worry about her scratching me to the point of a blood transfusion. I am the one keeping her from falling, and she is the weapon I am wielding, hoping I do not get mauled.
When trust is in the picture, sacrifices run rampant. We are letting go of all selfish human instincts and acting on genuine love. We hope and pray that those we let into our hearts will not take our confidence in them for granted and not play with our emotions or exploit our deepest concerns. On American money it is still written, “In God we trust.” Do Americans see God every day? No, not everyone, but we see what He does. How amazing is it that a country is based on trusting someone that cannot be seen? The founders of our country believed in something greater than themselves and though God was not seen by them, they still had faith and trust. That being said, it is safe to say that not only must you know a person in order to trust them, but you must have faith in them and know that if they are the kind of human they appear to be, your faith in them will not be in vain.
Yes. Tell me what you think, guys, I need your sweet opinions. I love Matt...and Anna...and Becky...and my dead dog.
posted by Oh, Idaho at 11:17 PM
2 Comments:
K! Here is the practical input.
#1. We are acting on "genuine love"? Sometimes it is genuine stupidity...
#2. I'd put a paragraph break at "On American money".
#3. Just to throw it out there... Which god do Americans really trust? Have you seen where they put that saying on the new gold dollar? It's on the side OF THE COIN - yeah - and you need a magnifying glass to read it. Some people thought they did away with the saying completely. It's fading out, Kels. It's not as strong an argument as it used to be. Though, people will still understand what you mean.
#4. Some people actually SEE God every day?!? Literally? You know I'm teasing you. :)
#5. God is a someone, not a something. And I might consider taking out the sentence that says, "How amazing is it..."
#6. Your, "it is safe to say" sentence is a bit wordy and confusing. I'd re-work it or make 2 sentences out of it.
#7.Overall - how have you shown that you must KNOW a person in order to trust them? (I know that part of the paper is not here, is it in that part?) Make sure that your general flow is logical; That any conclusions you draw are based on clearly stated arguments.
On a sunny, early, Saturday morning,
Beck
wow, thanks for pointing out how sinful Americans are, Becky. But It's Saturday, no kids papers to grade so Kels is a good outlet for that energy I guess.
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