Two Things That Never Change: God & Math.

hello again

2010-10-22T21:36:00.001-07:00

Dear Blogspot blog, I have not forgotten you...nor my readers.

So much has happened this year I don't even know where to start...I'll tell you soon.

clear, dry day.

2009-11-29T20:11:00.000-08:00

As I walked to the Psych building to turn in my paper about human brain development, I felt uneasy. It was not a cold feeling, though the wind went straight through my sweatshirt, but on the contrary, it felt as if my entire trunk had been put in a furnace for 10 seconds. Walking down to the basement, my heart started to race, and getting to the door I caught my breath.

My Psych teacher is by no means a scary man, he's fun and has good stories, and his class layout is helpful and promotes good grades. Why was I nervous?

I handed him my paper and said, "Thisprojectwasfunilikedit

itwasfuntodoilike psychology..." He looked at me and said, "well...good." and smiled politely. I existed briskly.

As soon as I left I felt better, but I also realized I've become somewhat afraid of talking to professors. HOW? WHY!? I am the same way when I go see my advisor, I get nervous.

I think I've written before about how sometimes it feels like some teachers are trying to make it harder for students to do well, not easier...well, I think that has infiltrated the makeup of my mind to the point of making me nervous around them even if they are wonderful teachers...this isn't good. I'm going to BE a teacher.

But I will be one that teaches out of respect and encouragement. I wont be lazy, I wont be judgmental, I wont be out to trick my students, and I wont be uninvolved. I most DEFINITELY will NOT have every piece of homework, and every test online. I hate online schooling. It has been my downfall and I HATE IT.

I'm having a wonderful day, nothing has gone wrong, lots of stuff has gone well, but I just hope I can get over this impractical anxiety around those that control my college career.

good answer

2009-10-27T01:02:00.000-07:00

Today someone asked my friend Seth, "What do you want to do with your life? Don't just say serve God, cuz that's a given." Seth thought for a little bit and said, "I want to be a father first, a husband second, and a teacher third." It was the best answer to that whole "what do you want to be?" question I've ever heard.

To my sister...

2009-10-06T13:10:00.001-07:00

for my best friend...

I pray you'll be her eyes, and watch her where she goes.
And help her to be wise in times when she doesn't know
Let this be her prayer, when she loses her way
Lead her to the place, guide her with your grace
To a place where she'll be safe

ALOHA

2009-09-26T13:19:00.000-07:00

Hello, old blog..

You seem to have almost been forgotten by me, but I'd never leave you like that. Mamma's home, it's ok..

Today in Moscow is a beautiful fall day. It's almost 80 degrees, with this WONDERFUL wind that blows my hair around in just the perfect way. Any camera shot would make it look like I'm carrying a fan around with me. The leaves are wilting the smallest bit, and pieces of yellow and orange are starting to take over...it's begun.

Arbor

2009-06-13T13:51:00.000-07:00

There's always room for improvement in a person's life. Doesn't it just make sense to conclude that if someone's content in one, single spot of their life they are content to not grow? We should be as trees; always striving to become more, always trying to produce the most we can, always reaching towards heaven, always open to growth.

Silky Milk.

2009-05-04T17:58:00.000-07:00

...But I do know one and one is two, and if this one could be with you what a wonderful world this would be...

Update of the life of Kelbo J. Heebs;

April 19th- I get hit in the head with a frisbee golf frisbee (like a light discus) and start bleeding profusely. I think I permanently got the song Dancing in the Moonlight stuck in my head...I got hit near my frontal lobe, got 12 stitches, and I've been assertive and bolder ever since.

May 3rd- I help one of my oldest friends move out secretly. It was sad, scary, comforting, and promising all at the same time. Yesterday was a very emotionally exhausting day for me. My friend is now on her own, and things are going to be ok for her...I know it.

May 4th-15th- School School School. It's dead week, and then next week is the last week of school. I can't believe it! It all went by so fast, and this year has been incredibly memorable. I have had lots of good experiences, a few bad grades, but I've learned a lot about everything...this year was mostly lessons learned when it came to dating. I have a few hundred stories from that genre of life this year, but let's just say I'm not sad that I'm single because if I weren't I would have settled somewhere along the way. Never Settle.

Though I'm a total stress puppy full of hopeless romanticism, and random spurts of identity loss at the moment, I am at peace with everything shady going on in my life such as grades, and other parts of my 21 year old life. I really, truly am tired of caring to the point of me not wanting to care SO much that God has granted me peace...at least at this moment. It sounds strange, but worrying about everything so much bored me to the point of not caring cuz I got so sick of worrying. It sounds weird, but if you look deep enough I'm sure you can relate.

I am Kelsey Hebert.
God is in control of my destiny.
I am my father's daughter.
I have my mamma's smile.
My sisters are amazing,
my friends are the most fun people on earth,
and I live in the safest town one could ever immagine.
My life is good.

3 More Months

2009-03-19T14:12:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamed of an old friend. We were much closer at one point, now we're shadows of what we've been. But in these dreams, we were right back there, we were as we use to be, and it reminded me how good it was for that little time.

I'm headed to Seattle soon to finish off my spring break. Spring break in the past three years for me have all been really memorable. 2007 is still my favorite one, but from 2007 to present so many crucial things have happened in my life and the lives of my friends, it's really quite remarkable.

I don't feel refreshed from spring break yet, and it's Thursday. I have this fear that if I go back to school on Monday I'll be behind, and fail, and I hate that feeling, so I don't know how to rejuvenate myself to the point of being able to keep going strong and confidently until May. Usually good times can help this feeling, but everyone has been so stressed this semester all we really do is wander around and stress together.

One thing I'm very tired of is speculation. It's speculation that led my life into one of the most hellish weeks I ever knew. All is resolved and good now, but for seven days I was humiliated, annoyed, and the main topic of gossip, but thankfully, this taught me not to say everything that is on my mind...and now I know why people invented diaries. :). But, crisis averted, no one is hurt, all my friendships are in tact, so I'm ok as well.

I'm waiting for man that is going to steal my heart. I am so looking forward to meeting him, so if you know where he is, please send him my way.

Stuff I talk about a lot these days...

2009-02-12T20:16:00.001-08:00

Morse Code, Handwriting Analysis, Sign Language, Fractals(as always), Black Holes(and revelations...ha!), The Incas, The Aztecs, Eschatology.

As of now I'm learning more sign language and analyzing more handwriting...I'll get to the morse code soon.. K cool.

Some stuff to note:

2009-02-08T15:04:00.000-08:00

Some things I've realized so far this semester:

~Putting out effort for something that matters is much more appealing to those around you (and God) than blowing stuff off for a temporary high.

~Silence is beautiful.

~It's possible to have no enemies, and life is so much more beautiful that way.

~If you're nice when you want to be mean you see the good parts of people more.

~I admire my sisters more every time I see them.

~Eating food alone is boring. Good, but boring.

~It's important to be aware of your surroundings no matter what you're doing, where you are, who you're with...never be lost in a familiar place.

~If you're happy, laugh.

~ Modifying your personality for another person is not cool. If you're gonna do it, do it for yourself.

~ To be truly happy in any sort of romantic situation, you have to be truly confident, and sure of yourself first.

~ Embrace your singleness.

~It's not mean to say no.

~Never do what you don't want to do when it comes to the opposite gender.

~Breathe in, chill out.

The Kirkpatrick/Hebert Story

2009-02-03T13:45:00.001-08:00

Mamma was born Muriel Kirkpatrick in 1948 in the great city of New Orleans. She went to Catholic School all her life and grew up in the Irish Channel of New Olreans. She went to St. Alphonsus. She graduated in 1965-6 and went to Louisiana State University, Eastern Washington, and Wsu for grad school.

Dad was born William Hebert in 1958 in Couer d' Alane. He, also went to Catholic school most of his life. Graduated in 1975, and attended North Idaho college and University of Idaho.

My moms earliest memory is one of great depth, love, and beauty. Her dad died when she was two, so she didn't remember much of him, but her most vivid memory of him was one of her mom and her dad getting ready for a party. Maurice (Her dad) was putting on his tie behind her mom (Muriel), who was in her slip, putting on her makeup, and my mom says she can remember thinking, "They're so cute."...and she was only two.

My dads earliest memory is one of his dad, as well. He was eating porridge in his high chair, and kept flicking it at Grandpa Tommy. Tommy finally got so fed up with it, he took the bowl of mush and put it on top of 16 month old dad's head, and he says he can still remember the smell, and the image of his dad smiling smugly with his arms crossed as porridge ran down dad's head.

In the time it took my dad to reach college from high school, my mom lived a good portion of her professional life. She joined the Air Force, was stationed in Texas, and then came up to Spokane, where she was stationed at Fare Child as an officer. After her Air Force career, she decided to put her Masters in Psychology to use after being a preschool teacher, and a counselor...so she took a job as a Psychology professor at, you guessed it...North Idaho College. This is where my parents met.

In their spare time at school my dad was in the Marching Band, and my mom was a cheerleader advisor if I remember correctly. While Dad was a mere 22 when he met my mom, mom was a mature, sophisticated 32 year old who apparently took no crap in the classroom, and just today Dad was reminiscing about how she could put any crack up, show off, or student-sleeping-in-class in their place.

Today I asked dad what his favorite memory of Mom was when she was his teacher; he said it was when she'd draw Elmo and Alfonzo, and all these random, made up characters on the board for her examples in psych, so that it'd be clear she wasn't using any students name. My favorite story of theirs was one fateful day when mom was giving the class a test. The question was "What is Marasmus?" The answer is something along the lines of poor nutrition, but dad couldn't remember, and because he knew mom'd rather have you put something random in a line instead of leaving it blank, dad put down the first thing he thought of. Gathering his knowledge of moms southern roots, he wrote down that Marasmus was a poor, southern black child that had a speech impediment. He got half credit on account of the cleverness, and the fact that he did not leave it blank...That's love.

Dad and mom eventually became friends, but one of mom's friends thought dad was gay. She backed this up with one point: Dad use to iron his jeans, and he liked to be neat. THEREFORE, he was gay. Didn't phase mom, she knew better. He tricked her into their first few lunch dates. She just thought he was a really sweet student, but after the second or third time she figured out his crush.

Their first date is the best date I've ever heard of(course, I'm somewhat bias seeing as how it's my parents, but, anyways, I digress). Dad was living in Lewiston at the time, and mom was up in Spokane, so for their first date dad drove up to Spokane to get mamma, then down to Pullman for a concert. Dad recollects the best thing mom said on the date and that was, "Are you planning on feeding me??" He said he'd never heard a woman phrase something so sweetly, yet bluntly, and it made his entire night that she was so straight forward and innocent with her question..and yes, he bought her dinner.

After the concert, he drove her back to Spokane from Pullman, and then drove from Spokane all the way home to Lewiston. The entire date was a grand total of 298 miles of driving on dads part. Awesome.

Dad remembers telling his friends when he was 24, "Just watch, by this time next year, I'll be married." All his friends thought he was full of it, but he was right! Mom and Dad got married in the July of 1983. Dad was 25, and mom was 34.

What are the odds that a southern bell marries a small town boy 9 years younger than her? I guess I decided to write this little account to show you that you never know what can happen, where you'll end up, and where you'll find the love of your life.

Beating around the bush

2009-01-27T15:15:00.000-08:00

I read somewhere online that a flock of robins is a sign for a fresh, new start, or for something wonderful to happen to you...but what if that flock of robins dive bombs you as you try to go into your apartment?! This happened to me. First off, what the heck are all those robins doing here? Shouldn't they be south? Secondly, since when are robins aggressive to the point odive-bombing? I am truly confused, a little scared of birds now, but as always, very amused and glad it happened to me.

Get Wisdom; Get Insight

2009-01-25T15:41:00.000-08:00

I am trying so hard already this semester to succeed. My goal GPA is a 3.5 or higher...bring it.

Hello, old friends, I'm sorry I haven't posted since Christmas day, but seeing as how I have no very new comments, I can safely say that you have found something to preoccupy your time with until the moment of my return, which is right now.

Lately whenever I tell my parents about my lame dating life(not that I'm bad at it, but that guys no longer have the drive to try to impress) my parents tell me more and more about how it use to be. My dad is convinced that the guys of my generation are the most lazy and half hearted when it comes to dating, and I have to agree. To take a woman out, buy her dinner, and then some form of entertainment takes an effort. Go figure. Are the women of today so disgusting to the men of today that we do not even deserve to be pursued? Really, think about it. All we do now when we aren't officially boyfriend and girlfriend is sit around and watch movies...that's it.

The last time I got taken out to dinner by a guy that was interested in me that I let take me out was last February. Since then there have been a few guys that I've shared romantic interest in, but they never took me out...they never picked me up to take me somewhere, they never showed me off, it's just been, "Wanna come over and watch a movie?". I have no problem with going over to watch a movie..I love doing that, but when you're pursuing a woman, take her out for crying out loud! Hanging out is not dating, so on behalf of all the young, beautiful women in the world, if you wanna date me, which I know was a few of these guys' intentions, take me OUT on a date. See how that works? Yeah, cool, I know. Have a good week, chil'ren!

Why I am not in Hawaii Right Now.

2008-12-26T00:06:00.001-08:00

I've never had this sort of a Christmas before. What started out so exciting turned so mellow and under-whelming that I'm not quite sure how to process it.

I started off by not going to bed at all because I wanted to sleep on the plane over the Pacific. I jumped out of the bed which I did not sleep in, and listened wide-eyed while mom confirmed our flight...Everything was set to go..WOO! We Heberts, usually so calm and slow-moving in the morning ran around like we were all morning people, and got in the van a full hour before our flight took off. We got to the airport, and there was a delay..."Ok," we thought, "no big deal. "...3O minutes later another delay occurred, "uh, alright." was our response. We finally were told we could start to go through security. Happily, we jumped through their hoops, took off our shoes, took off our jewelry, and re-dressed on the other side. As we sat waiting for the plane, my family and I joked about what would happen if we were turned away from our vacation in paradise. I don't remember all the jokes, they were a good 20 hours ago from now, but I do recall us laughing about the idea of dad going off on a wild shooting.

The un-practiced, un-professional voice of the female college student then announced our plane couldn't land, the fog made it too hard, the flight...was canceled. Some guy behind me yelled out a chorus of once choice profanity, as I looked from my dad all the way down the line to my sleepy, beautiful sister. Canceled. Canceled! "This has to be a dream!" I thought to myself. As the waiting area cleared, we Heberts just sat and stared, mouths slightly open, hearts sunken....canceled.

Mom and Dad stood in line waiting to talk to the crew, waiting to find some possibility for all our plans to not be ruined. It was a good effort, but not good enough. The only way we'd get to Hawaii is if we left on Saturday...That would have given us 1 full day in Hawaii. Everyone knows that wouldn't be worth it. We left the airport, left our tiny bit of hope in that gray, dull Moscow-Pullman airport, void of all Christmas music, decorations, and any other indicator of the importance of the day. I've never been so disappointed my whole life. I feel like I got dumped but without a kiss. My dad said he felt the very same way.

The rest of the day felt like any Saturday any week of the year. We saw a movie and went out to dinner. It's sad to say, but Christmas doesn't feel like Christmas without presents! I don't know how many secular Christmas songs I heard on the radio, but none of them lifted my goofy wounded spirit. I can't sing Mele Kalikimaka right now...I've been singing it since August, but to think of its lyrics now bring a lump to my throat.

I feared this since the snow started. I was so scared of not getting to go. Every time I spoke my feelings on the matter, my mom kept saying, "If it's Gods will, it will happen." Obviously, it wasn't Gods will for us to go. But right now, I'm having SUCH a hard time accepting that. I just keep wondering why. Why? Why? Why? Why? I'm like a little kid with her dad telling her no to a piece of candy-"why why why why why!?" I donno.

Romans 8:28 keeps popping into my head. That verse has been all over my life for the past two days, and in it, it says all things work for good for those that seek God...Well, I definitely seek him. I seek him every day in the most minuscule ways, and every day in the most important, and serious parts of my life. I seek him, but right now, I have a hole in the bottom of my heart and it's throbbing. Hopefully by tomorrow it will be better, but today has been the most challenging day in where my faith stands and what my attitude's like. It's ok for me and mine to be sad, but it's not ok for me to use it as an excuse to be a doofus. SO, if I start being a doofus, I'm counting on you all to let me know.

I hope your Christmas' were Merry and Bright. I hope the laughs were abundant, the giddyness was uncontrollable, and the love poured out of you all so much that you felt like a precious moments figurine. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

2 Tired 2 Sleep

2008-12-14T03:15:00.001-08:00

I have wonderfully generous friends. If they aren't buying me lunch so that I don't starve, they're inviting me over to their house on 10 degree cold nights to warm myself by their own fire. If they aren't laughing with me at my rants, they're listening to me with my worries-- my ridiculous, insignificant worries. Compared to hurricane Katrina victims, or survivors and friends of those directly effected by 9/11, I am living a princesses life. My biggest worries are my grades at a wonderful university, not having as much money as I'd like to live wealthy while being independent, and the fact that my beautiful calico is sometimes kidnapped by my neighbors who are only trying to be helpful.(or so I hope.) I am truly blessed, but sometimes I feel truly spoiled.

It's 3:20am and my head is dizzy. I hate being alone and dizzy...makes me think of brain tumors...ugh.

My eyes have that dry, sleepy feeling, and yet I can't sleep.

11 DAYS till I go to Oahu....a WOO hoo!

The Air Force Poem

2008-11-26T20:40:00.000-08:00

My mom, a former Officer and forever Veteran of the US Air Force said I should learn this...so I will.

The Air Force Hymn

Lord, guard and guide those who fly
Through the great spaces in the sky;
Be with them traversing the air
In darkening storms or sunshine fair,

You who support with tender might
The balanced birds in all their flight.
Lord of the tempered winds, be near,
That, having you, they know no fear.

Control their minds with instinct fit,
What time adventuring, they quit
The firm security of land;
Grant steadfast eye and skillful hand.

Aloft in solitudes of space
Uphold them with your saving grace
O God, protect those who fly
Through lonely ways beneath the sky.

Beneath the stars...

2008-11-23T01:12:00.000-08:00

I walked out of the Bighaus, out of one of my favorite places to relax and where some of my closest friends reside into a night I have never experienced before, and that I will never see again.

I left the steps of the haus and stumbled on the sidewalk more than once. My eyes weren't adjusting to the dark as fast as I would have liked, and my cell phone light was not helping. Once I put my phone in my pocket the night made itself known to me. I stopped walking and looked up, the stars have never been this bright, I'm sure of it. Thanks to my astronomy I found quite a few constellations as I made my way home, looking up half the time, relying on my memory of the town the rest of the time. I was suddenly aware of how alone I actually was, so I called a couple friends to help the time go bye, so I didn't have to be alone on my way home...no luck, no answers...God wanted to chat.

I admit, I was scared. Moscow's still safe, but not as safe as it use to be. My biggest fears are rapists, cancer, and ghosts(though I love ghost stories), and I was very aware that 2/3 of those things could possibly be lurking in the old neighborhood. Gradually, I headed towards downtown, and gradually my fear lessened. My mind changed settings from my safety to my feet, and what they were stepping on. The leaves that had fallen for the past two months were smothered in icy sparkles and, as cheesy as it sounds, they led me home. My thoughts traveled from Moscow to Hawaii, from friends to romance, from sisters to parents, and then back to the stars.

Eventually, I reached Main street, eventually the serenity I experienced on Polk turned into the serenity downtown Moscow always creates, which is a familiar, almost goofy, safe serenity...very different from the eerie trees and deafening silence I felt earlier. The drunk college guys stammered around, and cop-car lights twirled on every street corner. No one got away with anything tonight it appeared.

I reached my door and called for Kitty..no luck, but with her collar, I don't worry. I looked up again, and couldn't help but smile. I thought of one person. Is it snowing where you are? Wish you could see what I saw tonight, I know you would have loved it. See you soon. :)

Some aspects of the people of my life I adore

2008-11-21T23:48:00.001-08:00

Walkin' to the Commons with Ian ranting about something or singing a song we just heard.

The look on my best friend's face when she thinks about a man that makes every other day for her.

The way my dad says, "Hi, sweeeeeeeeeety." to me every time I go home, and how he has since I was three.

The greeting of my mom and Ashleigh: "eh beeebeeeehhh(hey baby like a french dude.)."

Jeffrey's face when he hears the song that reminds him of the girl he loves.

Seth's half smile...'nough said.

My brother in Law's laugh that fills our entire house accompanied by loud claps.

When Patrick tickles Tara and you can hear her laughing and screaming at the top of her lungs and my family just carries on like nothing's going on cuz we're so use to it.

When I go to the Nadreau's house and the little girls hug me like I'm one of them.

The way Riley says my name*KESHIII!*

Going into the boys' house, Luke being polite, the Seths' being goofy, and the fireplace making everything cozy and perfect.

I wish everyone could know the people I know.

Graeme's noises and the memories the conjure up.

When I go to work and Steve says "KELS! It's a day!"

Sonnet 18

2008-11-18T18:29:00.001-08:00

Perhaps my favorite thing Shakespeare ever wrote:

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed:
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Just some recent events...

2008-11-17T03:42:00.000-08:00

In a world gone mad, yer so bad.

2008-11-11T18:10:00.000-08:00

I've realized one of my most prominent pet peeves--when I see a mom in a store trying to strike a deal with a child throwing a fit. I don't think at any point in life must you bribe a child in order for them to obey you. It's definitely the product of how ya raise them, but mark my words, you'll never see me bartering with one of my own kids to get them to calm down in a store...Never ever ever!

One of my friends brought a good word to my attention; textrovert- a person that experiences unusual bravery while texting while it is absent face to face. There are also emailverts, msnverts, and facebookverts. People hide behind screens a lot these days and he's very right, many save their bravery for a text/email/facebook message because they're scared. I said, "what if you're so extroverted in real life that it spills over into your texting?" He said it's possible but then persuaded me to think of how many people I know that are so brazen screen to screen but so careful face to face. The moral of the paragraph is to not be a texxtrovert unless you're willing to be a face to face extrovert.

That's it I suppose, that's my rant. I love you all.

p.s. 44 days!

Aloha

My my, how can I resist ya?

2008-11-02T15:52:00.000-08:00

I never thought I would wish for more hours in a day until this semester of school snuck up on me. I have surely never been as busy as I am as often as I am my entire life.

I am definitely not complaining, I have many groups of friends to see, and I'm on my own with my very own home-made rules.(Which have been deeply embedded in me by my wonderful parents.) These are magnificent aspects of my life and I love that they are the way they are...But school. School is feisty. The best simile I can think of for school is a baby badger. It's good most of the time, but it has the potential to turn into a full grown, bitter, mostly blind beast. I finish my homework just fine, I don't turn things in late, but I'm always nervous about what's going to happen in my classes. I'm so scared of messing up and failing I haven't really been able to relax when it comes to my studies. I suppose it is a good thing that I'm always on my toes when it comes to school but I fear it is taking a tole on my testing abilities...ie, when I go to take a test I re-think every answer I put down, and it is effecting my grades and I do NOT appreciate it.

Would you like to hear a story? I'm tellin' it anyways ;). Wednesday night 3 friends and I decided to go scare our friend Teth(name kept confidential) while he was practicing his piano in Ridenbaugh. We had the genius idea to get Fanna to call him, let her in the building, and then she would "Go to the bathroom" when in fact she'd come downstairs and let us in. It all worked up to there just fine. As soon as we knew Fanna and Teth'd be talking in a normal conversation type of style we scratched on the halls as we walked towards room 329 and then when we got to the door we scratched and hissed. Fanna, being the marvelous actress she is screeched and audibly jumped in her chair. We giggled at the thought of our victory, but when Teth opened the door and saw us there he didn't jump or anything. Instead, he looked at us kind of sarcastically and said hi. It didn't work.

We decided to leave Teth to his studies and as we walked down the stair wells the girls all decided to start scarin' me cuz I was especially jumpy. We took our time down towards the parking lot, laughing and carryin' on, and eventually all reached our cars. Goodbyes were exchanged and engines started and then...we heard a blood curdling scream! Lessica jumped from her car, pawing at the windows, panting hysterically, and as Batie got out to see what was wrong with Lessica she started to scream, too. Eventually Fanna and I got out to see what in the world the other two were screaming about and Batie managed to say, "LOOK IN HER BACK SEAT!" I looked, and there he was....Teth, laughing. He had ran out the front door of the building as we left the back way and chose a car to hide in..Little did he know he had just achieved Lessica's greatest fear and dread. We gave him a hard time and scolded him for his insensitivity, but as he ran off like superman none of us could help but give him props for one of the most impressive feats of speed we'd all seen in a while.

There ya go! We get to vote in two days! I am so thrilled I might die....but hopefully not until Tuesday night or else all my voting talk will have been somewhat hypocritical and for nothing. Aloha!

One more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied. But then again...

2008-10-26T11:47:00.000-07:00

Do you remember the post I wrote from about two years ago of the old lady running up to me, telling me it was her birthday, and then skipping off into the bank? Well...I saw her yesterday! I was at the post office mailing some things for my boss and, just like that one year, she made herself known in the most adorable way. I felt a little tug on my earring so I looked down and she exclaimed, "They look like snowflakes!"(I don't think they do, but I'm not 90, either.). I laughed and said hello, and asked how her birthday was this year. She looked at me in surprise when I asked her, and then I told her about how she ran up to me and hugged me a couple years back and she laughed and remembered. She was 88 then, she's 90 now. This year I asked her how she's stayed so cheerful on her birthday and she said, "There's no reason not to be, it's the one day you get to be self centered!" . Awesome.

59 days, guys. Holy coooooooow

Aloha.

Tired and Goofy

2008-10-24T02:01:00.001-07:00

I like these Taylor Swift lyrics so I'm gonna post them.

Your beautiful eyes
Stare right into my eyes
And sometimes
I think of you late at night
I don't know why

I want to be somewhere where you are
I want to be where

You're here
Your eyes are looking into mine
So baby make me fly
My heart has never felt this way before
I'm looking through your eyes

I wake up
I'm alive
In only a little while
I'll cry
Cause your my lullaby
So baby come hold me tight
Cause I

I want to be everything you need
I want to be where

You're here
Your eyes
Are looking into mine
So baby make me fly
My heart has never felt this way before
I'm looking through your
I'm looking through your eyes

Just as long as your mine
I'll be your everything tonight
Let me love you
Kiss you
Baby let me miss you
Let me see your
Dream about your eyes
Eyes, eyes
Beautiful eyes

ONllyyyyyy

2008-10-03T12:35:00.000-07:00

82 more days

As I was saying....

2008-09-24T11:28:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WOW! Just as I was closing my computer from writing my last blog, Dylan Tracy came over to say hey....His water tipped over and covered the ENTIRE TABLE and my ENTIRE lap so now I'm walkin' around campus lookin' like I wet my pants...Perfect timing, God. :)

"What do I do with my heart?"

2008-09-24T11:01:00.000-07:00

Has anything exciting happened in Kelsey’s life that would only happen to Kelsey....

Of course! Like my life would be uneventful...pssssh.

SO! Monday I was sitting where you can plug in your computer and a girl came and sat by me. Cool...Then another one came...and another. Pretty soon a flock joined the herd and the entire hispanic population of the U of I was surrounding me.(NOT BEING RACIST! ) I was just trying to watch hula on youtube so I didn’t think much of it until someone started playing Journey.”Yay, journey!” I thought to myself...then someone turned on some Usher...they MIXED Journey and Usher! It gets better! Someone then decided to turn on the Lion King soundtrack. You can’t make stuff like this up you guys! SO, there I am, little white girl trying to watch her hula videos surrounded by Journey, Usher, and the Lion King ALL at the same TIME...If they did it just to get my spot they were successful. Wow. There was also a lot of really strong cologne involved that embedded itself into my lungs, but that was just a friendly reminder of my crazy lunch experience.

God decided something when he decided me. He gave me writing ability(I think) and he made my every day life comedic and memorable. ‘S definitely something to be thankful for. I told Meg this story and she laughed and said,”This stuff only happens with you, Kels. Anyone else and it just wouldn’t fit.” Perhaps she’s right, but regardless I’m lovin’ every minute of this easy, romantic, loving, comedic, thoughtful life.

New Space

2008-09-16T21:41:00.000-07:00

I finally moved in! Everything's where I want it and all I need is my end table and my desk. It's weird to be on my own, sleeping without the sounds of my cat talkin to my dad,not hearing him laugh at Craig Furgeson, and not to mention using a totally different shower.

My apartment is complete with pots and pans, food, decorations, cozy woobies(what my family calls tv blankets) and pictures of everyone I love in every corner of my house. It's fun and exciting, but also really lonely. It reminds me of when I first started driving, how strange it was to not have anyone to talk to as I drove around town...It doesn't bug me anymore, and this wont soon Ashleigh says, so I'm trusting that she's telling me the truth.:)

That's all I really have to say for now...that and I think that my core class is perhaps the most boring class in the entire university.

My life never ceases to amuse...me

2008-09-12T11:59:00.000-07:00

So, I hope ya'll had a good library day (har har har) mine just got more and more interesting as the day progressed.

Four hours of substantial manual labor at work got my endorphins flowing as it always does. I'm convinced I have the best boss in the entire city of Moscow..hands down. SO! After running 3 yellow lights and one hilarious trip back to Otto's I went to the most painful hip hop class of my life thanks to a new blister THANKS to the evil high heels I wore to school on Wednesday to further improve my overall appearance and make the men of my campus happy. I'm guessing I looked like the equivalent of a spider monkey with a thorn in his foot; really trying to make it in life, but doing really messed up steps and moves thanks to the lameness that is his foot.

After hip hop I went to country swing...this is where my day hit its speak of awesomeness. The dancing was awesome and kicka$$ and then one fateful dance made up the rest of my night. As I was dancing along with some sweaty guy I don't even know he swung me out before I was suppose to twirl back in to be dipped. As I was leaving the cuddle WHAM!!! Elbow to my head, bright colours, weird taste, weirder smell, less hearing than usual, and laughing to cover up the cuss words I sooo wanted to yell. "Oops, sorry! Watch out!" was all that was said...thanks, I'll be more careful.

I danced for bouuut an hour and a half more, had a wave of death come upon me, so I left The Beach in a dizy haze and crahed onmy couch at home...I don't think you're suppose to go to sleep right after you get a concussion, but my dad said it was ok, sooo I might be a different person forver now, but I was gonna change in the long run anyways, so it just made my life all the more interesting.

PLUG: Groovehaus concert this weekend! Saturday, 4:30PM at the Latah County Fair! Be there or miss a concert that will definitely make your life happier.

I kinnnnnnda forgot

2008-09-11T11:18:00.000-07:00

Today's 9/11.

I thought it was the I go to the library...

I shouted it from my seat when the class was asked what today was.

Glares sniped me...

Take time to remember guys

Some Highlights From My Weekend.

2008-09-07T00:03:00.000-07:00

Just another buncha ways to see that I'm where I'm suppose to be...for now.

Music Taste

2008-09-05T12:59:00.001-07:00

I wont do it for money

I wont do it for pride
I wont do it to please somebody else
If it don't feel right
-HlnOats-

This may be a waste of a post, but I dug this picture...This is me and JD at college...Facebook vs. Skating....Mac vs. Dell. Heck yeah.

Oo, the Hu-Irony!

2008-09-04T00:27:00.000-07:00

So, I keep accidentally contacting people I don't mean to contact...I've called one person like 3 times on accident but I KNOW it doesn't look that way, and it really IS an accident...So it's annoying/embarrassing.

Little dramas enter my life every day and they are bugging the hell out of me! If it's not a friend wussing out on doing the right thing, it's finding out another friend lost their virginity! If it's not that, it's accidentally calling your ex boyfriend cuz of your stupid key guard, and if it's not that it's seeing him every day and getting nothing but a cold stare in return.

I love my Moscow-ville. I love the people, I love the campus, I love the weather...But I'm kinda tired of being so present. I kinda wish I could be seen by my teachers and that's it, just kinda float around and see everyone but not let anyone see me. I miss my taco buddy, too. He and I have the most unique dynamic ever, it's deeper than you'd ever immagine.

On a MUCH lighter note, I found Danny Schneider! My friend has him in one of her classes and she said it might be my Danny and sure enough, it's him! A LOT different than I remember...lots more facial hair. I told him I knew him from preschool and of course, he didn't remember me...I don't think anyone besides Tanna C remembers me from preschool...oh well, I found Danny, FINALLY! 17 years later. Guess what; He's engaged to a very gorgeous girl. :)

Aloha Gorgeous People,
An annoyed but alright Kels

Livin' Those Songs

2008-08-27T21:28:00.001-07:00

I think one of the best ways to live is to live in the spirit of Aloha. I know it sounds cheesy but here me out. Aloha is a welcome/sender that sends the person off/greets them with good will, love, and friendship. If you live your life in Aloha then it would make sense to conclude that you'll live a life full of love, good will, and friendship.

I'm making some changes in my life. I gotta shape up. Too often I let little things become something I feel I need to share with everyone. I gotta stop doing that. I hope I keep looking forward to things and not looking back so often. I have been doing that a lot lately. Whenever I get distracted enough to forget the past, I feel like I need to gather up the good memories of the past and cradle them for a little bit. I have no idea what that's all about, but I'm working on it, too. I'm a work in progress.

~Aloha~

2 years later...

2008-08-22T14:39:00.000-07:00

I'M GOING TO HAWAII! AGAIN!!!
OAHU! AGAIN!!!
THE OHANA WAIKIKI WEST HOTEL!! AGAIN!
WITH 4/6 OF MY FAMILY MEMBERS THIS TIME INSTEAD OF ONE!!! THAT CAN BE SHAVED DOWN TO 2/3S...

GUYS! HAWAIII!!!! ONLY 123 MORE DAYS! WE'RE GOING TO HAWAII FOR CHRISTMAS!!

HAWAII!!!
Alohhhha,
Kels

Ah, Monday.

2008-08-18T12:46:00.000-07:00

I don't usually start delivering stuff until bout ten or eleven during the day, but Steve wanted me to do my errands first thing when I got to work. I didn't think anything of it until I got back and saw that Otto's was a madhouse with expectant customers both influenced by the fact that it's Monday and being effected by the heat...aka people were cranky. I kept up my smile and took the blame for everything; "Yeah, sorry it's so hot outside...Sorry that Tomato's bruised...We've been out of Klicker Berries for about a month now. "Why!?!" ...because they aren't growing them anymore."

All this I could handle, people are always like this on Mondays. All of a sudden Steve said the dreaded words, "sure CK, Kels can make you a wrap." My back grew hot, my heart started to thump...I had to make CK a wrap...Ooooh goodness. Steve told me which ingredients CK usually had on his wraps, so I took very careful notes and wrote them down...it turned out my precautions were soo not good enough.
"My dear, what the hell are you putting that on there for?"
"Steve said you like this, would you like something different today?"
"I don't remember saying anything to the President about this."
(....2 Minute pause)
"NO, LADY! I don't want OLIVES!"
"Mmmk, CK."
"NO, LADY I don't want that dressing! Use the other one!"
"This one?"
"Yes, THAT ONE...NO! NOT that ONE!"
*I get frusterated*"CK, How 'bout you just come back here and show me which sauce you want."
*takes three minutes to decide, while my boss is shaking his head, laughing, and pittying the situation all at the same time*
"This one!"
"Alrighty."
"No Mayonayse, it makes me feel like I've eaten five meals in this heat!!"
"I'm not gonna put mayo on it, CK, I didn't get it out."
"My dear I have to go will you just give me my food already."

He mumbled something as he took it away.

About an hour later some frat boys came in without shirts on and leaving a trail of cigarette smell and sweat behind them...Not impressive. I gave them an "are you kidding me?" look to which two of them got the point and put their shirts on...sort of, more like put their head through the hole and that was all I deserved. Wow. After they showed THEIR true colors of impatience, prejudice, and inflated egos it was 12:30. Hallelujah!
School starts in a week! I'm exicted!

Some people 3dozen roses &thats the only way to prove you love them...

2008-08-15T13:48:00.000-07:00

Hey all! I've recently started cleaning out my room more in preparation to move into my appt. in two weeks. While I was clearing out underneath my chest of drawers I stumbled upon an old sketch book from 2002-2004. Looking through it I remembered my old self. There were so many pictures of girls sitting hugging their knees, with a caption saying "be yourself" and the girl looking sad and alone. There were others of my favorite bands, things I was excited about, things I wanted, things I thought about. There was a little note about how your shoes and your faith are the only things you can trust as well. I was almost an emo child! I had forgotten how alone I once felt, and then four years and much more wisdom later I'm lookin' through this piece of my past with Daniel and Anna. The best part about that was the fact that they are the two people that helped get me out of that phase of my life. It was insane, I gotta post some of the pictures up on here that I had drawn cuz while there were some that were totally depressing and a little worrysome, there were also some very amusing and clever drawings in there as well.

Wanna hear the best pickup line of my life? A lot of you have heard it, but here's for you that haven't.

Dude: "This sandwich is beautiful."
Me : "Yeah I'm proud of how it turned out."
Dude: "It's almost as...beautiful as you..."
Me : *speechless and almost laughing*"Yeah, pepperoni's a pretty color..."
Note: This dude was abouuuuut 35..Oh yeah, he had a kid with him, too.

The end! Grovehaus concert tonight at 6:30 at the Eastside Market Place! Be there or be square.

Aloha~

A Few More Reasons the Eagles are Perfect.

2008-08-08T11:25:00.000-07:00

The Eagles have a solution for EVERYTHING. Check this out, it came to me as I got up out of bed this morning,it's pretty awesome:

Life is sucking, you are down on your luck and all you want to achieve is absolutely nothing. The Eagles say Do Something.

Alright, so you Do Something, but you still have your original "problem" or whatever it is. The Eagles say Get Over It. It's harsh, but sometimes you need to hear it in kind of a harsh way in order for it to really register.

After you Get Over It you can completely Take it Easy.
It's brilliant! Then after all is said and done and you've done something, gotten over it, and taken it easy you can then fully Learn to be Still.

So there you go, sweet, true, and real.

Half of Me

2008-08-04T15:53:00.000-07:00

or the University of Idaho they have started this new thing where all the Freshmen coming to Moscow read one book during the summer so that they can discuss it, talk about it, etc in their classes. This year it's "1 Dead in Attic". It's a book about Hurricane Katrina written by Chris Rose. I'm reading on my own cuz of two reasons: 1) I like to read 2) New Orleans is in my blood, it's half of who I am so I feel like it's the least I can do three years later. Here is an excerpt from the first chapter of the book. I love it, positively love it, but it is very fragmented writing. It's almost like poetry. Anyways, enjoy!:

"Dear America, I suppose we should introduce ourselves: we're South Louisiana. We have arrived on short notice and we apologize for that but we were never much for waiting around for invitations. We're not much on formalities like that.
And we might be staying around your town for a while, enrolling in your schools and looking for jobs, so we wanted to tell you a few things about us. We know you didn't ask for this and neither did we, so we're just going to have to make the best of it.
First of all, we thank you. For your money, your water, your food, your prayers, your boats and buses, and then men and the women of your National Guards, fire departments, hospitals, and everyone else who has come to our rescue.
We're a fiercely proud and independent people, and we don't cotton much to outside interference, but we're not ashamed to accept help when we need it and right now, we need it. Just don't get carried away. For instance, once we get around to fishing again, don't try to tell us what kind of lures work best in your waters.
We're not going to listen. We're stubborn that way. You probably already know that we talk funny and listen to strange music and eat things you'd probably hire an exterminator to get out of your yard.
We dance even if there's no radio. We drink at funerals. We talk too much and laugh too loud and live to large, and frankly, we're suspicious of others who don't. But we'll try not to judge you while we're in your town. Everybody loves their home, we know that. But we love south Louisiana with a ferocity that borders on the pathological. Sometimes we bury our dead in LSU sweatshirts.
Often we don't make sense. You may wonder why, for instance, if we could carry only one small bag of belongings with us on our journey to your state- why in God's name did we bring a pair of shrip boots?
We can't really explain that. It is what it is. You've probably heard that many of us stayed behind. As bad as it is, many of us cannot fathom a life outside our border, out in that place we call Elsewhere. The only way you could understand that is if you have been there and so many of you have. So you realize that when you strip away all the craziness and bars and parades, and music and architecture and all that hooey, really, the best thing about where we come from is us.
We are what made this place a national treasure. We're good people. And don't be afraid to ask us how to pronounce our names, it happens all the time.
When you meet us now and you look into our eyes, you will see the saddest story ever told. Our hearts are broken into a thousand pieces. But don't pity us. We're gonna make it. We're resilient. After all, we've been rooting for the Saints for thirty-five years. That's got to count for something.
Okay, maybe something else you should know is that we make jokes at inappropriate times.
But what the hell.
And one more thing: In our part of the country, we're used to having visitors. It's our way of life.
So when all this is over and we move back home, we will repay you the hospitality and generosity of spirit you offer us in this season of our despair.
That is our promise. That is our faith."

~The End~
*Hula Hips*

Oh, I get it!

2008-07-30T20:04:00.000-07:00

A challenge for me, an emotional woman...not just any emotional woman, an emotional Hebert woman.

A challenge for myself..well, not really a challenge, more of just a healthy lifestyle shift; Think about things more with my brain, common sense, general knowledge of the earth and logic as opposed to my emotions. I know it doesn't sound so life altering, but I have a feeling this can help not just me in my adult life, but anyone else who may stumble upon this.

Here I go...

my version

2008-07-28T20:54:00.001-07:00

Some do “planets” to list the most influential people of the opp. Sex in their life, I’ll have colours:

Red- Red is in my town, but far away right now. He’s been one of my best friends this summer but we haven’t talked for a couple days. This saddens me but for some reason it feels necessary. He’s got blue eyes, great smile, and an even better person to spend a lazy summer night with. Is romance in our future? Doubtful, but that’s ok because him simply being around is good enough for me.

Orange- Orange is far away both in distance and in contact. He’s in his hometown and I am in mine, and though we both have phones that work and text people constantly, we rarely talk. Thankfully we’ve seen each other since the summer started, it was wonderful to laugh with him. He is handsome and bright and I smile every time I see him. He does what he wants when he wants and won’t change for anyone but himself.

Yellow- Yellow is amazing. He is smart, musical, talented, shares my same beliefs, sweet, kind, and interested in me. Only problem is the feeling that I am not interested in him in the same way. We’d be perfect for each other for sure, but I haven’t spent enough time with him to really know if I have any romantic feelings towards him. It’ll be good to have him in town again and see what happens for sure.

Green- This one single man has been more emotionally exhausting to me in the past four years than any other person I’ve ever known my entire life. We’ve dated, we’ve fought, we’ve been best friends, we’ve not talked for 6 months. He knows my family, I know his. We’ve watched movies, and taken trips. He’s the second person I talked to after my first breakup, and I’ve helped him see things clearly as well( or at least I tried). He’s a guardian angel and the devils advocate. He helps me open my mind. Best smile, sapphire eyes, and personality that I have ever stumbled upon in a native man of Moscow. I love him and can’t stand him all at the same time. ;)

Blue- Blue eyes says it all. He is my friend…That is all. He is fun and musical and a great person to get a much needed hug from. I was blown away when I first met him, and thankfully our friendship has grown into something unique. We’ve only known each other a short time, but I’m totally stoked to know he’ll be around this semester. Talent, looks, and a killer sense of humor make up this person that I will refer to as blue.

Purple- I JUST met this guy a week ago. He is strong and religious and has had his share of heartache but he doesn’t seem to be jaded. We keep in pretty good touch considering how far away he is, and I think if we were in the same town wonderful events could conspire…UNNNNFORTUNATELY he lives about 500 miles away so I don’t see anything monumental happening soon, but I’m willing to keep on getting to know him just because it’s been so fun.

Woo! There you go. Good luck guessing. :)

God;s watching me

2008-07-25T23:17:00.000-07:00

I heard this song after a pretty hard night tonight...it got me, I cried and then I realized God's tellin me I'm not alone, I'm not lost...he's still holding my hand.

Girl Talk

2008-07-24T23:41:00.000-07:00

Today dad told me there’s nothing less attractive than a girl that is openly longing for a boyfriend...I’m happy to say I’m not. I’m comfortable with where I am. If a wonderful man presents himself to me and I find it in my heart to think “wow”, then awesome. Hook me up. I’m not settling for anything less than butterflies, permanent smiles, and consistent daydreaming.

He told me this in the context of being excited about life and all the great things that are happening to me that I seem to not realize. In a month I’ll be on my own, and in college full time...I’ll have to be more responsible than I’ve ever been my entire life. I’m petrified to spend money, I’m already wondering if I’ll make rent alright, and I don’t even know how much my electric bill will be let alone food. World, go easy on me, I’m going to be very, very new at this.

I have two emotions these days: Happiness, and Missing. I’m so freakin’sick of missing people. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t miss and it would be great. But, I care a lot, so I miss a lot and it’s so freakin’annoying! Especially when you put yourself out there enough to send a text saying hey, how are ya or hey, I miss you and you get nothing in reply.

~~Internet malfunction~~

A short cat story:
Today I was sitting outside on my laptop minding my own business and I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around and low and behold, there’s Sweets! Stalking me! She saw me spot her so she RAN up to me, batted at my wenus(hahaha) and then ran away like a racoon on crack...cats.

I leave you now with a line from the Eagles song I’m being serenaded by “...I believe in second chances, I believe in Angels, too. I believe in new romances, baby I believe in you...”

Never thought I'd see the day

2008-07-15T13:43:00.000-07:00

Secondary thought: I have been single now for eight months...woah.

Something's been bugging me on and off but now I'm brave enough to stand up...via blog.
I have a friend who got engaged about a month or so ago. He's always been a really good friend; really good at emailing, calling, visiting when he can, just an all around stellar friend. Then he did what I never thought he would do and always hoped he wouldn't...He fell off the face of the planet. I always thought he'd never be the kind of guy that would forget all of his platonic friends when he got a romantic interest.
Weddings take a lot of time to plan, trust me, I know, I helped my sister...But when it comes to the groom they don't have to do much by way of planning because it's the brides family that is the one that pays for the wedding...So why would a person fall off the face of the earth like this? I haven't talked to him since May..MAY! Since we turned into friends the most we went without talking was 2 weeks at most. What's getting me the most is the fact that the one person who hated when guys did this the most is doing the exact same thing.
When I had a boyfriend I made sure to not become exclusive for only his eyes to see. I still found TIME to hang out with my friends, I still had Tiiiime to call people because I didn't want to make it seem like he was the only person I cared about. I found time to make time and I always thought this person would be the same.
I'm glad he's found what he's looking for. He's far away and has a life and that is wonderful, but his friends were here for him in the previous chapters in his life, too. I just wish there could be a sign that would let me know he's still the good ol' friend he use to be.

Words can only prove so much. If a promise ain't enough Hold onto my love

2008-07-09T23:19:00.000-07:00

I wouldn't pet my cat so what does she do? Attacks my hand...Stupid animal.

I've been thinking that a lot lately...Why are there so many stupid animals in the Moscow/Pullman vicinity? Why can't they grow up and actually act like humans? The pathetic excuses to flirt and the poor judgment on when to stare and think that it is accomplishing something is really getting old. They should create a class at the University to teach guys my age how to act like guys my age. I would LOVE to witness a suave smile or a twinkle in an eye that did not occur because the guy was checking out my butt. I want to think, "that was awesome" instead of "get castrated." That would be greeeaaat. I hope it exists in this town soon but I'm willing to wait for college to start if I must.

One good thing about Travis was he was always a gentleman and knew how to compliment me. It's not so much that he'd say anything, most of the time it was a smile that would do the trick and every time I would think to myself, "wow." . I haven't thought "wow" in a long time.

Today was my parents 25th anniversary. My sisters and I got them to meet us at 415 s. main st(casa lopez) and as they sat down we were playing their wedding song on my laptop. I couldn't believe it but that part was actually too cheesy for me but Tara thought of it cuz she wanted to try to get them to cry...good tears, of course. We decorated the booth with silver things and daiseys and Tara made a FANTASTIC tiny version of their wedding cake. That girl is the most talented person I've ever known, she succeeds at everything. I don't know how she does it.

It was awesome celebrating 25 years of marriage with someone. Even if it wasn't MY marriage I'm really glad it existed in my life today. It made me want something as good as they had and I'm really hoping I find the happiness my parents have found. My dad has now been married as long as he's been single(single 25 years, married 25 years). His life is at a complete halfway mark. Awesome. As for my mom, she has been married longer than she lived in the south! She lived in N.O.L.A. for 22 years and has been married for 25. Crazy, I know. We called her a yankee and got THE GLARE OF DEATH so we took it back immediately. Shoulda known.

This week has been my most anti-social of the entire summer. It's not like I planned it or anything, but I've only hung out with people like...two times this week. What's going on with that? Responsibilities? Totally overrated.

In other news, the band GrooveHaus(previously known as Heartless) is playing at the Farmers Market on Saturday starting at 930 I think so if you're bored and willing to get up early for awesome rock and roll, go downtown and let them serenade you with their melodic tones and modest Christian sensuality..HAHA! Aloha, kids.
~Kelsey~

I found this from LONG ago

2008-07-08T17:21:00.000-07:00

Caution!!! this is cheesey...REALLY REALLY cheesy...like..oh gosh I can't believe I posted it. You've been warned

Favorite shirt on my back
Brand new jeans on my hips
Right here in this place
Let me kiss those perfect lips

Come breezing through this old door
Don't care who sees that come-here smile
Take my hand and scoop me up
Let's go somewhere the sun loves to thrive

Let's go frolic through these rolling fields
If we trip and fall it will be ok
There's nothing bad that could happen on that day
That we'd spend forever in a giddy haze

A humid night and two hyper hearts
With one solitary purpose-keep beating
A moments gaze can do monumental things
For two stuck in the moment grinning like fools

Hold me close and taunt me with your eyes
Give me a kiss I'll never forget
Watch the sun go down and never say a word

HOLY CRAP WHY KELSEY WHY!?

Gbye Ausy girl

2008-06-30T23:29:00.000-07:00

Here are some random pictures from a friends' goodbye night out...

Know what's strange and sounds even stranger? I was thinkin' today about some of my most memorable times in my adult life and about 60% of them have occured in dorm rooms of my friends. I met my first boyfriend in a dorm room, had the best smoothie of ALL time in a dorm room, ripped my favorite pair of jeans in a dorm room cuz I was skateboarding in the room, and that's also where I first found out about blogspot..SO, lots to be said about dorms, but I've heard so many crappy things about them as well that I am SO glad I am not/am ever going to live in one.

Bad Rabbit!

2008-06-26T22:08:00.000-07:00

SO, Today I get home from my second job and I am greeted by my cat....and a baby rabbit sitting next to her frozen stiff.scared as all get out. I grabbed a towel and picked it up, then put it in a box to see if my freakin Lion cat hurt the rabbit at all. While I'm lookin' at it, it JUMPS up and hauls ass under my sofa..."oh no!!!" i think to myself, "There's a rabbit loose in my house!" So then Anna came over and we got it cornered, she totally could have caught it, but as she claims, it jumped up at her and it scared her so she let it get away. AUGH! I could have TOTALLY caught it if I had been over there...ugh. Anna might be the only person I know that is afraid of a baby rabbit. Anyways, so then after banging on every piece of furniture upstairs and scouring my entire house, I have come to the hopeful conclusion that the crazy little thing scurried outside in my frantic attempts to rid my house of him.

Here's me and SweetumsFeed(tha'ts what we named him) before he ran away.

Here's the face Anna said the rabbit made at her that scared her so badly.

I miss country swing

2008-06-26T00:20:00.000-07:00

Sodium- It's gonna be the death of me! Honestly, I'm sure that if I didn't eat Taco Bell/ drink coke more than once a week(I eat taco bell about 3 times a week) I would be five pounds lighter and have tons more energy...I know this for a fact because I tried it earlier this summer and though I was glad I had the results I did, I caved and went right back...I've gained 3 of the lbs back. lame.

I'm really excited for the day that Anna gets a real cell phone...You know you're crazy-close friends when HER use of minutes on her go phone gets you annoyed...and you don't even have to pay for it.

I really need to remember to stretch before I hula because, as my instructor said if you don't stretch you'll hurt something, and I did...My lower back's totally messed up..damnit.

But, I do not want to talk about sodium or my weight. I want to talk about how you remember people. For me, all my friends have their own picture in my brain. You know how on a cell phone you can assign a picture to people? Think of that in your mind with every person you've ever met. With my main group of people it's usually an actual picture I've actually seen of them: With the sun behind them, black and white ultra super contrasty, pineapples covering half their face, kissing their significant other, laughing at someone telling a story, hugging a pillow seductively, sitting in a classic car lookin sexy, and of course a candid moment where you know they were making a decision. My room is filled with the most iconic pictures of my social network and I love it because they're ALL either framed or matted onto something...almost like a scrapbook..woah!

I guess I'm talkin' about this because I just got done hanging out with three people that have helped shape my life in one way or another. Some of us haden't seen each other in two months, but it's funny how certain things can bond people together so that even if they've been away for a long time they can just pick up right where they left off without having to make small talk and feel awkward...It's even funnier if you're not quite sure WHAT the bond is.

This summer is so different from last summer. It's not nearly as memorable yet and has actually been kinda stressful...but I'm surprisingly ok with it. It's taken a tole on my mind sometimes, but lookin' at the big picture instead of the unfortunate holdups helps. Money is a b*tch any way you look at it, but remembering that there's always a chance to go home, chill, hang out with friends, and drive around with the windows down really helps. I guess I'm just focused enough to know that I have real adult responsibilities and I am gonna be on my own soon. I know there's a time for play, a time for work, a time for romance, a time for singleness, a time for waiting, and a time for taking chances and right now I'm open to anything pretty much but am very determined to not only stay afloat, but glide above and I am not letting anything get in the way of that.
Lovelovelovelovelove,
-KJH-

The last text

2008-06-17T01:04:00.001-07:00

IAM SO TIRED OF EGOTISTICAL SELF CENTERED INSENSITIVE CRITICAL CYNICAL PRIDEFUL LITTLE BOYS. AJKFLAJDSFLAJDSFL AFKJ STOP BEING SO DUUUUMB.

AEOIFJODSIJF! Ugh...all better.

What was he thinkin!? Part II

2008-06-16T11:55:00.000-07:00

Remember how in February I went on a date with a guy and he "was bold" and attacked my face? Yeah, well the same guy texts me yesterday and says I need a favor. Being the person I am I think to myself, I could do him a favor, it wouldn't hurt so I ask him what it is...He procedes to ask me to drive him to Montana to see his, you ready for this? NEW GIRLFRIEND. HAHAHAH, MMK, WHAT guy even in his most bitter of moments asks someone that turned him down to drive him 300 miles to go see his new girlfriend. I said no obviously, but I think I just witnessed one of THE most comedic/ridiculous attempts at jealousy ever. Happy Monday everyone!
-Kels-

My Earthly Father

2008-06-15T11:56:00.000-07:00

Today as we all know iiiiiiiis Fathers Day! I wished my Pastor happy fathers day in the middle of announcements at church when he asked if anyone had any announcements or prayer requests. It was a pretty priceless look on his face when he said, "Indeed thank you, Kelsey..." I don't think anything tops the look of Evan Wilson's blank stare in your direction on a Sunday morning with the rest of the congregation smiling sympathetically at you. Wonderful.
Many of you readers (whoever you are) know the man that is my father, William Hebert, aka Wild Bill. You know he drums, you know he owns his own business, you know he loves to do things for people. One thing I think people never realize about my dad is how extremely selfless he is. Besides sacrificing lazy summer nights with our family to work so that he can keep supporting us, he willingly mows my neighbors' yards as a surprise for them, he will take time out of his crazy schedule to clean up the coffee stains in our church if he notices them, he will make time for anyone that needs him, and never complains...EVER. I wish I were half the person he is. To be so selfless and loving to everyone in his life and putting all of our needs is very rare in a person, and my father does it consistently without hesitation. I hope I become half the person he is. Here's a song dedicated to my dad by one of his favorite bands, Bread. The lead singer wrote it about his own dad.

thank you, Dad.

Y?

2008-06-11T01:19:00.000-07:00

Why do guys contact you to tell you about the problems they are having with women, openly tell you they're "crying right now" and expect you to go, "aww, that's so cute I think I love him."? It's a bad technique, if you're thinking of using it, DON'T DO IT.

Holy Math

2008-06-07T17:36:00.000-07:00

Ever heard of a fractal? They are one of my favorite things on this entire earth, and what they are basically is math as art. Here's how they work: You have a really complex mathematical equation and from that you check each character in the equation to see how fast it goes to infinity. You enter that into a program on your computer that's mapped out to a colour and it creates a pattern from the math like this one below
To me fractals prove God exists more than most things. Who would have thought that even MATH can be beautiful? It really shows that thought was put into everything in the world and that it's impossible that this could happen "randomly". My sister, Tara is really good at noticing things from the world and then tying them back to biblical standards, phrases, and beliefs. Once I walked upstairs and heard her and my mom talking about trees reflecting God's untouchable brilliance. What she was saying was ingenious, and sounds a lot like fractals. She said that a tree is completely perfect in every angle and is pleasing to the eye because of that. It may look random and poorly structured with all the branches going their own ways, but that in itself is actually mathematically perfect. It just LOOKS unpredictable(just like fractals) when in fact the branches are all doing exactly what they are suppose to do and are more complicated than anyone could comprehend.

The reason I wrote about fractals today is because in the preschool room where I work pictures of fractals line the ceiling and I was lookin' at them yesterday and one little girl asked me what they were so I got to explain it to her...I don't think she understood but she smiled at me and said "oh, ok." when I was all done with my little fractal rant. The End.

Wind, Leaves, and Stars

2008-06-06T00:47:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is, but something inside of me feels off today. I got home from hanging out with some friends and sat next to my dad and he asked, "You seem different, what's up?" I just looked at him and said,"Good question, I have no idea." I really don't. Nothing's wrong persay, No one's done anything to me, I'm not upset with myself/anyone, something just feels off tonight and IDK why. I DO miss a lot of my friends right now so that might have something to do with it, but even if that IS the case, I probably wouldn't hang out with them if they were here, horrible as it is to say, but really, if you're honest with yourself you have one group at a time that you prefer more than the others. That's life, that's just the way the cookie crumbles.

In my bible study on Wed my pastor talked about Prudence vs. Pride. He brought up a lot of good, interesting points, but I think the one that got me the most was when he quoted the bible and said, "you must be as pure as doves while being as cunning as a snake." or something very close to that...it was either in Matthew or Proverbs. Anyways, the point he was getting across is that though a dove is pure and innocent, it is good to be as wise as the serpent was.(the dove is wise in the same way but instead of coming off as being cunning it is innocent and pure) In Genesis it talks about how the snake was crafty and appealing because he was wise and knew what he was doing. To be genuinely prudent we must know ourselves, use this knowledge to gather more knowledge and with that knowledge become quiet and fruitful in your thoughts and your speech all while getting closer to your goal of having purity, wisdom, innocence and Godlyness in you at the same time. It is then that you start to begin to truly understand how to become prudent.

Who'da Thunkit

2008-06-02T13:59:00.000-07:00

Isn't it funny how friendships go through phases? Like, you have a friend that you never thought you'd stray away from, you always thought you'd be as close as you were when you first met, and then all of a sudden....you're really not that close anymore and it's no one's fault, but the phone calls are farther set, the things in common deteriorate, and the values almost seem to morph into polar opposites.

I'm going through that right now. My life seems to keep transitioning every day, it's been pretty crazy how things are clearing and the fog is lifting. I see who I can confide in and admire, and in all honesty it's not who I thought it would be four years ago. It's not bad by any means, I love the crew I surround myself with and I still have the best friend that any person could ever ask for (:) ) but at the same time, I thought that I'd still have the close friends from 2004 in 2008. They have their own group and do their own things...which, now that I think about it are very different from the things I like to do.

I'm not complaining about anything. I love my life--my simple, innocent, hilarious life...I just wish it still appealed to my old friends the way it appeals to me now. Life in the fast lane surely makes you lose your mind, but life on the moscow-pullman highway helps you create memories from point A to point B all while keeping your mind and remembering what happened the night before.

How it's gonna be

2008-06-02T00:23:00.001-07:00

I know there are some people in my life that think I have changed a lot about myself to please my friends that I hang out with the most. Though I agree on some of the things they say and do as well as with many other people I respect greatly there are things about me that will never change and I will never let go of no matter who you are, what you do, or what you say. I had a stubborn phase, I thought it made me look strong and independent, but I have found that life seems to be much more enjoyable if you are chill but confident in your choices...that's true strength to me.

A good quote by me: "Men may rule the world, but women gave birth to those rulers..."

I do not believe a woman's soul purpose in life is to be in the kitchen with spitup as her perfume of choice with hair so outdated she looks like a hobo. Few believe this, but there are some men that do. Mark my words the day I have a relationship with a man that thinks a woman's soul purpose in life is to cook is the day that sunsets no longer appeal to me...most likely because I would have lost my mind.

I will never ever let any man at any time slap, hit, shove, or t0uch me in any aggressive way and think to myself, "I deserved it, he's right." Never. My father's job was to discipline me and he did a good job. He'd spank me if I disobeyed the rules or disappointed him and my mom and I'm glad for that, but when it comes to any other male in the world, I'd be gone so fast the jerk wouldn't know what hit him after he hit me.

I will never give up my faith upon request or suggestion from any human being. I don't care who you are; you could have eyes as deep as sapphires, you could have better hair than George Clooney, you could have the best singing voice in the planet and the most sexy smile known to man. No amount of money could ever sway my faith, my joy, or my source of salvation. If you can't accept me because I believe merely by faith and the power of love, nice knowing you.

I will never chose any outsider over family. That should be a given, but you'd be surprised how many people do just this. Unconditional love is rare and should be appreciated, and reciprocated as much as possible.

I am goofy. I frolic around, I laugh loud, I like to ruffle feathers occasionally by starting stupid debates, and I know how to be obnoxious. I do most of these things occasionally, but not so much to prove a point anymore. If I'm acting this way, it's because it's fun to occasionally be silly....Crazy concept I know, but life has to be balanced so you gotta be serious and keep your playful side at the same time because if you don't you miss out on one side of life.

Running shoes are only meant for physical activities

2008-06-01T18:28:00.000-07:00

Here's a good play list to get in shape to when you need to clear the cobwebs of past weeks from your mind.

Summer of 69-Bryan Adams
Drive-Incubus
Picture to Burn-Taylor Swift
Black or White-Michael Jackson
American Girl-Tom Petty
Cocomo-The Beach Boys
Life is a Highway-Rascal Flatts
(if you run to the beat in all these songs it works REALLY well.)

When you get home hula to these:

My Old School-Steely Dan
Bad-Michael Jackson
Pour Some Sugar on Me-Def Leppard
Rock a Hula Baby-Elvis

And then do about a million crunches to all those songs combined...Whew!

fallen heart

2008-05-28T01:53:00.000-07:00

I know a wounded soul. A soul that has been through so much and seen such horrible things it's a wonder the person whom the soul inhabits still has hope for a civilian life. I know I sound pedestrian talking about this sort of stuff...My life has been easy and sweet compared to many many people and I've never doubted the existance of God or that he's always looking out for me. I have no desire to give into the temptations of the world, and I'd only change for myself. My life is good and God is with me. Why is God not with him? I know he is technically, but after all he's been through, why couldn't wounded soul hold on to the one thing he told me kept him going over seas.
to
He survived two tours of duty in Iraq. This man conquered things no one ever thought a small town boy was capable of. He should be dead, but he's not. Despite his insane war history this guy came home to a world full of tramas and crazy stories, but he survived. God kept him safe through all of it even at its absolute worst. How can he have called me from so far away, praising God, and now tell me he doesn't believe in any of the "bull" his entire life has been made up of. I don't see how anyone could turn their back on love like that. I feel so naive, like I'm missing something crucial that would make this all ok, but when I think about it, I'm not. In my opinion nothing lets this be ok because nothing is more important than salvation and a relationship with God.

In this world, we have the opportunity to sink or swim. We can be lazy or be productive, and we can search for truth or sit back and feel fine without knowing anything for sure. I don't know about you guys but shades of gray are too frequent in life and I need something in my life that is certain, right, pure, and never changing and the one thing I know is like that is God. That's why this blog is named what it is; because life can throw you things that you will never expect, it will pick you up, inhale you, puke you out and then stomp all over you, but when it's done having it's way with you, there is always one place you can go where everything is perfect, never changing, and always looking out for you...I
'll give you two guesses.

Abide with me fast falls the even tide
The darkness depends, Lord with me abide
When other helpers fail and comforts flee
Help of the helpless, oh abide with me

Swift to its close ebbs out lifes little day
Earth's joys grow dim its glories pass away
Change and decay in all around I see
Oh THOUGH WHO CHANGEST NOT abide with me

I need thy presence every passing hour
What but thy grace can foils the temptors power?
Who like thyself, my guide and stay can be
Through cloud and sunshine, oh abide with me

There Goes My Hero

2008-05-22T23:17:00.000-07:00

Here we go again:

...another one of my friends is off to basic training to protect Americana. That's the 5th one I know on a deeper level than names. I love that I know all these warrior brothers, as Cpt'n Storm would call them. I really think of them as heroes. It takes a certain amount of courage to devote yourself to verbal abuse, physical and emotional turmoil, and come out as strong and focused as so many soldiers do. So far I know 4 Army soldiers and 1 Marine. They're all upstanding young men and I am so grateful to them for what they do and the obligation they gladly carry.

Shallow News! I am in the market for a laptop! If my parents agree I'll only have to pay for half, and since one of my closest friends is selling it to me, it'll be FREAKISHLY cheap for the quality of the computer...Now I just gotta hope my superiors think it's as good of an idea as I do and help...It's a once in a lifetime opportunity and I'll never find a deal this good anywhere else...ever.

I saw Indiana Jones! It was IIIINCREDIBLE! So so so so so good! I highly suggest everyone go see it, as well as Ironman...but see Indiana Jones first cuz it's really fun and very amusing.

I know a lot of people with trust issues. It's almost considered a poor excuse for being flaky, but it's really not that at all. I've had them before, still do sometimes, and it really can consume a life. But so many don't notice when it's time to not let it scare them anymore or if they do notice, they are still so scared. So many people miss the opportunity to trust, and in that miss the opportunity to feel truly safe again. Let me tell you something: Dare to trust. Use it wisely of course, but if there's someone in your life that you know would never hurt you or use your word against you, listen to yourself. You feel this way because it's true, so take a stand, look fear in the eye and let your heart be unguarded. There's a quote from a movie I know that is perfect for this, "...You wanna do something really great? Have the courage to fail big and stick around, make them wonder why you're still smiling. That's true greatness to me..." I dare you to trust, if it's someone worthy it's the best feeling in the world.

That's about it. Lazy summer nights as always, demon toddlers, and an endless dance in my heart. God is good.

I hope Bob Marley was right.

2008-05-17T23:35:00.000-07:00

Probably one of the most disappointing things in the world is when you look back on a time you thought you were the ultimate woman to someone and then realize you were just a stepping stone to a life someone thought would be better. Translation?: People constantly change into something they think is better that's very often worse, and there is nothing you can do about it. I'm glad God took away the deep feelings for me that I had for certain gorgeous blue eyed men, it's been easier for me to not get bummed about romance, but when I think about him I get sad. I don't get sad because I want him back, I get sad because he's doing the things he vowed to never do. So many people do that and I don't understand why. How hard is it to hold to your beliefs? It's very easy, actually. I've done it all my life and intend to keep doing it. I just wish more people would hold on to their "juvenile" goals and avoid those having to do with underage drinking, promiscuity, and general worldly conformity.

In other parts of my life I'm doing well. My nights consist of lazy talks in the Big Haus library, Winco runs, random drives with the girls, and wrangling toddlers and preschoolers of the Palouse. The past three days have been warm and friendly and though skin cancer runs in my family I welcome UV rays with wide open arms and a swimsuit top while rebuilding the fence around my house. My tan lines don't match, my jeans have mud on them, and my newly highlighted hair actually looks semi-natural now because of all the sun intake. I can hear the crickets and cyotes at Mtn.View park through the open door and the late spring air is perfectly still and fragrant. I have ice cream in my tummy, and a frame of a James Marsden movie paused to help me concentrate on writing this blog. I could die happy. When I look up at the stars, I see endless possibilities in my life...It sounds incredibly cheesy, but it's true. I don't know how so many people don't believe in heaven. I can't help but believe because when I look up at the stars, I'm convinced that there's GOT to be something so much more than just this one world and one life.

How does it feel to know you'll never have to be alone?

2008-05-11T12:40:00.000-07:00

My Aunt Kathleen is in town from N.O.L.A. this week and it's crazy having her here. I haven't seen her since I was six years old. The sweet part is that as my mom and her talk more and more my mom's southern accent comes back.:) Wonderful.

My sister Trogo (Nickname for Tara) is graduating from college this Saturday. I can't believe it actually. I've woken up to her drinking coffee and studying so much in my life it'll be weird never seeing her working on homework again. She'll be a registered nurse, what an accomplishment! I'm so proud to know her. I love that girl, she and her husband are two of my favorite friends I've ever had. They're moving to Seattle, it's official, and I'm really excited but at the same time I'm secretly bummed because they will be so far away. I'm avoiding showing this part because what they need right now more than anything is support, and that's what I'm giving them.

I wish I had something monumental to say, but all I have are little unfinished theories wallowing around in my mind. They will come out soon enough, don't worry, I just hope some come true and others remain merely theories. I love you guys, I'll post something on my down time later today. Be good.

Cold Tile and Pink Shoes

2008-05-07T01:08:00.000-07:00

It all started with the assumption I was being jealous by way of a sarcastic comment and it was passed on to a judgmental person. I accidently read this word which then caused me to lose my balance, fall into a ledge and rip the back pocket of my favorite pair of jeans...Damn long boards. I decided to leave early, really early. As I left his eyes were guilty and scared. His roommate was pissed at him. The air was tense and the goodbyes were insincere. I felt like crying until I got a phone call. "I didn't mean it." he said "Lieing's a sin." I replied. After trying to talk on the phone I turned the car around and went back to talk to him in person...Everything's better in person.

Suckiest part of all this is that I've gotten attached somehow without anything romantic conspiring. "I should only cuddle with people I'm romantically interested in." he said. As my heart sank and my cold became ten times worse feeling...I wanted to run away. I often want to run away in these types of situations. Why am I always the girl people cuddle with and then regret doing it? It's like the Christian version of prostitution...Funny part is I never am the initiator...(what? it's true!)

He doesn't know how I feel, and as far as I know he never will. Blue eyes and perfect hugs not only fix a situation, they make a heart want more. I just keep wondering how on EARTH I let myself fall for this guy. I never even hang out with him! I'd be soo relieved if someone just told me it was merely an attraction, nothing more...But I don't think it is.

I work 9 hours a day now...with a brand new cold, that's pretty hellish seeing as how this virus that's taken up an inhabitance in me is free floating all around my work space...These are not the best of days in my life...But I went to Ironman with the boys and it is awesome.

Your Idaho Girl.

2008-05-03T02:27:00.000-07:00

George Straight said it perfectly:

"She don't need you and she don't need me
she can do just fine on her own two feet
but she wants a man that wants her to be herself.
And she'll never change don't know how to hide her stubborn will
or her fighting side but you treat her right
and she'll love you like no one else."

I don't have a very strong fighting side, but if you treat me right I will love you like no one else.

Guard that thing, kels!

2008-04-27T23:20:00.000-07:00

HOW MANY TIMES MUST I REMIND MYSELF,"Guard your heart."? Nothing's happened, don't worry. But I feel myself falling for a guy more than I feel like I should right now. Nothing has been confirmed, I might just be attracted, but my favorite colour of eyes is involved, and those get me fast and hard, so I guess it could go both ways. This summer is sneaking up on me, and an attachment that leaves this town would leave me with my hopes up, and frustration in full bloom..But,ooh man.

Travis is going to Hawaii this August...I'm so stoked for him. Jealous as hell, but so stoked...Sunsets...smells...waves...Crap damn it.

I need to go to bed. I'm semi depressed.

2008-04-26T14:16:00.000-07:00

so much to say, so littke time..soon my friends, soon...

2008-04-21T14:55:00.000-07:00

Though I only know like...4 different simple beats on the drums, I can still appreciate a good solo...This man, Neal Pert is, in my opinion, THE best drummer in the world. He plays in a little band called Rush(they're huge, I was being sarcastic) and the band took a 7 year break cuz his daughter AND his wife got killed within two years of eachother...He's back with the band now and is obviously rockin' out harder than ever. They say he came back with talent that he didn't have before.

Don't try to hold my hand if I avoid you.

2008-04-19T13:02:00.001-07:00

Woah, I almost forgot my password again.hahah! Anyways, guys, I'm registered! Woohoo! College! For Real! III know!! I will have two classes with Fanna, too. woo!

I now work at a preschool and I love love love it! Granted, I already kinda got one of their little tummy virus' but being the awesome adult I am it didn't last me more than 4 hours thankfully. I plan on staying here for a very long time, I'm glad I have this job, it actually resembles what I want to do with my life, which is awesome. The job is easy, but tiring, it takes a lot of patience and a certain work ethic, both of which I have so it works out wonderfully. I'm still a little cautious and unsure just because I have to take first aid/cpr class since I'm working with little kids, but other than that I'm confident in myself and my abilities to make a difference here.

K, now's the time where I rant for a little bit....What the freakin' HECK must a man be thinking when he sneaks up on a girl who does NOT seak him out and TRY TO HOLD HER HAND? Is that just a lack of common sense or something deeper and more serious? I've been wondering since 11 oclock this morning and I'm still insulted by it. I think I have a right to be. If it had been any other of my guy friends I woulda thought, "aw, that was cute." but with this I thought, "what is your major maaaaaaalFUNCTION!?" So I glared and I pulled my hand away and he looked like a four year old that just got yelled at. No, it wasn't even as cute as that, it looked like a potential stalker getting his imaginary fantasy broken into a million pieces...GOOD! Ugh.

Looks can be so deceiving. When I first saw this person I wasn't single at the time but I thought,"wow, he is really handsome." I would talk to him and the shallow things we'd say led me to believe he was cool, confident, and had a good sense of independence...No. He doesn't.

I don't mean to sound horrible or rude, but this is my blog and when things affect me enough I write about them. Should I not be as nice to him as I am to everyone else? I am actually asking you, that wasn't rhetorical. Sometimes I wonder about myself, because I try to treat everyone like they have my full attention; it is what I do, I don't like being rude and I'm bad at being stand-offish cuz it is not my character and THEN when I do act that way I feel bad...so what do I do? Er, what SHOULD I do rather?

I have one friend that I have known since I was three. He was a good guy, never an academic person, but no matter, we were friends none the less. Throughout our school days I wanted to be his friend and was infatuated with him and he had his eye on all the other girls in the class. Three years ago he went into the army, got deployed to Iraq and found me on myspace. We talked and he told me that throughout his entire life, I was the only girl he's grown up with that has actually treated him the same even though he's so different from what he was raised to be. He's into a whole bunch of stuff that is considered bad, but when I see him, though I don't agree with him and he kind of scares me sometimes, I act the same as I always have. I don't know if this is good of me or foolish, but I can't bring myself to act coldly to him, or anyone for that matter. I haven't been flirtatious with him since middle school, but I always listen to him. I'm not praising myself, on the contrary I have many issues with being assertive, but what good would it do to treat someone like a vermin? Is it true that with guys like The Confused Soldier and Mr. Hand Holder that if you are nice to them they think they have a chance no matter what? If so this world is even more messed up than I thought.

Ya find out who your friends are...

2008-04-09T00:06:00.000-07:00

Corey(far left) is always kind and very funny.
Anna(middle) is as we all know my sister, my best friend, and one of the most iconically awesome people you'll ever meet.
Heather(blond next to me) is pretty much the bomb; she's so smart and so fun her husband's gonna be one incredible dude
Katie(redhead by Heather) is the loudest, most outgoing girl I've ever met my ENTIRE life. She always smells like vanilla and always cares about her friends..

THESE are the kinds of people that make the phrase "girls night out". Hanging out with the four of them convinces me that not all girls are drama-ridden gossip lovers. They're the kinda girls where purity is just one of the things we all are proud of, where laughter doesn't come at the expense of others, and getting along with each other is just a way of life. Thank God for these awesome women.

Answer me this.

2008-04-04T14:52:00.000-07:00

When do you cross the line from being a supportive friend to being ridiculous and a wimpy friend? Say you have a friend that wants to become a samurai but they have horrible rhythm, they're clumsy, and they don't have a sword. Do you say, "friend, I care about you enough to say that this is a mistake." or, "friend, I try to be accepting of everyone and I'll support you in this even if others will talk and think it ridiculous."

(note: this is NOT by any means a "look-at-how-good-of-a-friend-i-am" note.)

This kind of stuff has been my struggle lately; is there such a thing as being supporting of the wrong thing? Do you think a person can appear fake if they're there for everyone's feats of life which they ask this person to be a part of? I guess what I'm asking is this; is there such a thing as being supportive to the point of being cowardly, and if so, where's the line? Let me know guys, cuz as of now I could use another voice besides my own.

7=perfect

2008-04-03T00:57:00.000-07:00

Today I donated my old cell phone to "give our troops a cell phone." . I hope it brings someone a lot of communication, joy, and hope.

Here's a colage I made of my main group of friends these days..enjoy.

My Philosophers.

2008-04-01T15:35:00.000-07:00

If you trade out the times when you want to do things that may hurt your soul for the things you know will help you grow spiritually, you have a very different life in a matter of days. I've been doing this and it honestly helps. Surrounding yourself with purity is very beneficial when your life is taking on new twists and turns and you need good in your life more than ever.

Last night in the Big Haus library the men I have seen grow up showed yet again a different side to themselves. I have known some since they were five and others only a couple years, but hearing their philosophies and theories on life, death, senses, and afterlife really helped my respect for them. You see them in their army gear, or riding a rail on a summer night and think they are just your regular guys in a small town...how wrong are YOU!? I wish you guys'd been around to hear what I heard last night, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around some of the concepts....geez.

Above all else I'm happy to report a turning point in my life. I heard the song, "It just comes natural" which was like....THE song for me and Trav back in our romance. Anyways, it came on, and as I was about to get sad I thought to myself, "ya know what, I don't need this right now." so what did I do? MHMM, I changed the station. I couldn't believe it! I didn't quite know how I felt about it until I got to my destination. I was goin' to support a friend that doubted I would come, and to see him so glad that I came to listen to him play piano for 5 minutes made the whole thing all the more right to me, I felt good in just being me.

I may not have my life figured out, but I am not feeling lost anymore. I am single, I am alone, I have responsibilities, I have dreams, and I have goals. I have friends, I have family, I have hobbies, I have passions, I have theories. I have favorite songs, I have favorite poems, I have favorite morals. I have all these things, and above all else, I have confidence in the Lord. Life. Is. Good.

Bless Your Beautiful Hyde

2008-03-29T22:22:00.000-07:00

Skin:
The outermost layer of a pearl
The outermost layer of a diamond
The outermost layer of our bodies

It stretches when it needs to
And relaxes when it is allowed
It covers from head to toe and only asks for water
It becomes stronger in the places we use the most
And can stay soft everywhere we desire

It looks beautiful in moonlight
And is protection in the sunshine
Water can only penetrate it so deep
Otherwise it dances with the extra beads

It shields us from wounds
And allows imperfections to be found
It curves with our curves
And shows off our strength
It cushions our bodies
And moves with our motions

Skin exists to leave us complete
It lets us be beautiful, it lets us live
Thank God for our hides
Thank your skin for its care
Take notice and cherish it
We are blessed it is there

by Kelsey Hebert

Pizza Crusts and Old Smoke

2008-03-27T17:36:00.000-07:00

I am getting sick again. This will be the third cold I've had in the past two months...I blame it on the snow, the smoke that I put up with, the easily inflamed tonsils, and stress.

Earlier this week I wounded my foot massively...today it's all better. Thank God for speedy recoveries. Country swing here I come!

Samuel has been in town all week so getting to see him nearly every day has brought joy to my heart. I forget about how much that guy inspires me in his moments when he's not trying to show how well he can quote stuff. When he's giving advice or talking to someone older than himself he is truly the ultimate man and I love him for it. Late night conversations with him and the other guys of my life have nearly lulled me to sleep numerous times this week, and these are the things I miss the most when he is gone.

We got a grand total of 8 FREAKIN' INCHES of snow last night...It's March 27th! What the heck!? Stupid El Nino.

Have I told you that my church finally has a home? We aren't gypsies anymore, we now have a beautiful, white church to call our own...it's perfect for us and it is now officially ours. I was just thinking of how awesome it is that we don't have to move around from place to place anymore.. Praise God, right? Right.

Appreciate those that chose to have you around. Love those that make an effort to let you know that they care. Do something for someone else today, live your life the way that would make your parents proud.

Aloha.

An un-tarnished, but kinda cheesy memory

2008-03-19T23:18:00.000-07:00

I was walkin' on the side walk of Waikiki beach one night and decided to go down by the ocean on a whim. My mom was sitting on the breaker and I was walking west. The wind was easy yet obvious and the ocean was tepid. The sand gave way under my feet and the bigger waves pulled me into the ocean just barely. It wasn't scary for me, but I could feel the pull of the waves and thinking of it makes me smile still. My hair was being tossed everywhere as I looked up to see the coast line and all the lights that decorated it...Though the lights were man made, it was absolutely perfect. Looking up I saw the tropical stars, looking down I saw the sand and the foam...It was beauty unspoiled in every way imaginable and I remember thinking to myself, "now THIS is a vacation.".

THE END.

This is my exact memory. :)

Ooooh don't you wish you were as Irish as Me?

2008-03-17T18:25:00.000-07:00

some clips from the best movie I've seen in a while...P.S. I love you. Since it's has Irish ties to it I had to post it today... here are the lyrics to the song, it's an awesome tune.:

Fairytale Of New York - The Pogues

It was christmas eve babe
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me, wont see another one
And then he sang a song
The rare old mountain dew
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you

Got on a lucky one
Came in eighteen to one
Ive got a feeling
This years for me and you
So happy christmas
I love you baby
I can see a better time
When all our dreams come true

Theyve got cars big as bars
Theyve got rivers of gold
But the wind goes right through you
Its no place for the old
When you first took my hand
On a cold christmas eve
You promised me
Broadway was waiting for me

You were handsome
You were pretty
Queen of new york city
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
Sinatra was swinging,
All the drunks they were singing
We kissed on a corner
Then danced through the night

The boys of the nypd choir
Were singing galway bay
And the bells were ringing out
For christmas day

Youre a bum
Youre a punk
Youre an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy ******
Happy christmas your ****
I pray God its our last

I could have been someone
Well so could anyone
You took my dreams from me
When I first found you
I kept them with me babe
I put them with my own
Cant make it all alone
Ive built my dreams around you

WOO Anna's Back!

2008-03-16T17:58:00.001-07:00

Little boys with british accents

2008-03-12T10:19:00.000-07:00

aack! OK, SO, I was on youtube stalking Matt, and I found this on his youtube as one of his favorite videos and it is SO FREAKIN CUUUUUUUTE! augh! I love it, watch it.

Day after night after day this feeling

2008-03-07T23:48:00.000-08:00

Anna- going on her first plane ride ever tomorrow
Danny- visiting Sam this entire break...wish I had gone
Katie- working all week
Paul- Who the heck knows, that man has the most random days ever
Meg- Working I bet, too
Britney Spears-hopefully doing something useful with her life.

And then there's me. My resolution for this break is to run each day...I donno how much I'll run or even if I will seeing as how I'm getting sick...But maybe, maybe this break I'll get to improve myself. Maybe this week will be just as awesome as last year...granted in totally different ways, but ya know, happiness is as happiness does.

My major plans include-seeing the sunset every night, running, maybe a day trip somewhere, cleaning my room and getting rid of stuff so that me moving out doesn't take forever, searching vacation packages for Hawaii, and hopefully just learning to finally smile, sigh, and turn away from everything that once meant so much. It's obvious now's not the time to remember so this week I'm training myself to suppress my favorite memories.

Picking at a scab will only leave a thick scar, but if you let a wound heal it goes a lot smoother. Yes, it will itch and if you accidentally bang it against something it hurts, but two weeks later all that will remain is a brand new patch of protection for the next time life pulls you down.

Hmmmm..

2008-03-06T01:05:00.000-08:00

This is called "the utter demise of sanity as we know it." because we took it during a dinner before I had to go back to work. Anyways, I'm hopeful tonight.

I'm hopeful to find someone new and amazing this summer. I don't know how this is going to happen seeing as how I'll probably either be in Tri State or being a receptionist every weekday, but maybe...I miss the butterflies and the permanent smile on my face that everyone noticed. One person even said I had a glow. Well, it's March 6th, I'm pasty and without a love...let's get this party started!...The only thing is love only sneaks up on you when you least expect it...AHEM. ugh. NOW, time to go eat junk food with my daddy, peace out chilrens.

And I say aw yeah, alright, every sunset, every sunrise

2008-03-02T18:24:00.001-08:00

Hello, my cute hearted loving friendly units.

SO, Today in the paper, and throughout the internet there was a guy that asked a friend to shoot him in the shoulder so that he wouldn't have to go to work...he told the cops it was a drive by shooting and sure enough, he got out of going to work...I'm glad I'm not THAT bad yet...YET.

Is it possible for watching a star to set to be therapeutic? It's definitely hypnotic, but I was just curious cuz right now I feel calm and content and dreamy.

When you dream dream big, as big as the ocean blue. Cuz when you dream it might come true, so when you dream, dream big.

What A Weird...Just...WTF

2008-03-01T00:03:00.000-08:00

OK SO: I'm at work and there's this guy and his woman friend buying two reaaaaaally small pieces of merchandise from me and I say, "Ha, you're livin' large today, my friend." and he laughs and says yeaaaah...Then there's a pause. He then says as he points to my shirt, "you gotta little attitude there, huh?" me:"oh ahaha, it's a chili stain, I'm tryin' to cover it up with my nametag." cute" he said, so I was thinkin' huh, k...Then he says, "actually, I really disslike your tone, you're sarcastic and bratty and are coming off as kind of synical and I don't appreciate it." This through me TOTALLY off and I just stood there listening to him tell me how rude I was being then he left... I can't win at this place, I try to be nice and joke with people and THIS is what I get...granted yes, not everyone can take a joke, but he looked like the kinda guy that could handle some friendly banter...guess not, good grief! Anyways, It's windy and rainy outside, I'm tired, I have some massive split ends going on and I think I need to go trim my hair SO, I'll talk to you later.

Maybe I could rest beneath your smile

2008-02-29T00:34:00.001-08:00

There's a song from my childhood...You don't have to watch the video but you DO have to listen to the song...that's an order.

Woo! I'm excited! Daylan's coming to toooown! And it's Mardi Gras...Moscow version...bwahahah. Poor Yanks, NOTHING compares to a New Orleans Mardi Gras, a bunch of drunk college students being promiscuous is just ridiculous when it's almost a month late...If we did it on the REAL Fat Tuesday at least we'd be in sink with the rest of the country..gosh.

So, this spring break's definitely gonna be different than last years, mainly cuz I wont be texting certain pride and joys of certain famous families. I betcha I will work every day and then find myself in the ONE place I wont allow myself to go...Friends I've notified, make sure you call me at 10pm on the 15th..I think. yeah, fifteenth...I don't want to cause myself any heart brake, but I'm a reminiscer sooo yeah, this could get ridiculous.

In my shallow life, I found Billabong jeans tomorrow..I MUST HAVE THEM. and I will, they're on hold right now..bwahahahah.

I want a callaway..Corvette on speed.

2008-02-27T00:16:00.000-08:00

I just watched Gone in 60 Seconds...movie's cheesey as hell but the cars make up for the stupidity of it. There was no real plot, just fast cars beating up beamers and the lame cars of the world...Go Mustangs.

So, today I started writing a novel. I have three chapters done so far and I call it "Silent Screaming". I don't quite know why but I think it will start making sense soon. My main characters name is Pheonix, his dogs name is Simon (SHUDDUP, I LIKE THE NAME, LEAVE ME ALOOOONE, ANNA) and his love interests name is Tess. I'll start posting parts of it when I have it all written down on my computer.

So, despite my current late night obsession with fast cars and writing at work to keep my mind sharp I have currently just recovered from the worst date EVER. Those that know the story can tell those that don't but I'm tired of telling it and each time I tell it I get angrier...Let's just say pretention and thinking you look cool peeling out in a 95 oldsmobile is the worst combination any human could try to sum up...Ugh.

I don't know how much longer I'll survive at this job. Yesterday I literally pulled on my own ear to get myself out of bed. Standing and staring; hallelujah! I've started a tradition where on the last ten minutes of my shift I run around and just do really goofy stuff to everyone which has included-tieing my shirt up like in the 80s, bringing my co-workers dog beds, knocking shoes off of their display(that was once) aaaaaaand yeah...this is my life, envy me.

3 months and one God forsaken day later...

2008-02-15T01:39:00.000-08:00

First off, a shout out to my beautiful best friend Paul for bringing me the best chocolate ever at the lamest job ever, Brent for thinkin' of me even though he's got his own girl, and Meg, for bringing me kisses. You guys made my afternoon and I'm keeping all of the packaging.

The Banquet was a good time, lots of good conversation and some awesome valentines/ cards sent my way...it was so fun in fact that it almost made me forget why I hate this God-forsaken singles awareness day until...

I went to country swing..Let's just say, my singleness was made more aware to me more than it ever has been and in the harshest way I could possibly think of....Yes, I saw HIM there and YES, He was with someone that wasn't me which is funny considering how he said he'd make me LIKE valentines day...
In other news; One guy dipped me over his knee held me there for about 5 seconds and told me he wanted me, another asked if all people in Moscow were inbred, and one told me Moscow was a hell hole. FIRST off, knee dude, Tim I think it was, you are sick and a bad dancer and smell like dirty clothes, inbred dude, I'm taller than you and you're going bald, hell hole man, lay off my town, get some anti perspirant for your hands and THEN maybe you can start voicing your opinions on my town.

Last but not least I do not trust liars. Ever. To say one wishy washy thing and then go back on what you said is weak, contradicting, and cowardly...It's one of the things that lessens my opinion of people. Don't be hypocritical, don't beat around the bush cuz you will be found out and someone getting hurt is inevitable. Say it flat out the first time; black and white's much clearer than muddled water colours.

Thank goodness Valentines day's OVER. My heart hurts, my emotions are shot, my depressions in full swing and I am going to sleep for as long as I possibly can.

songs i can relate to right now

2008-02-08T01:04:00.000-08:00

"Every time i hear your name" -keith anderson
"Tim Mcgraw"-Taylor swift
"Smile"-Lonestar
"Just to see you smile"-Tim Mcgraw...

These are my favorite recovery songs...how come guys write all the good songs? There's only one girl in there, it's messed up.

I'm STILL not over it...gugsadfjdhs! I danced to a song that I and _____ claimed as "ours" tonight with someone else...with Danny. It was fun of course, but hurt. As "It just comes natural"(shuddup, Anna I KNOW YOU'RE THINKIN' OF THE JACK N THE BOX DRIVETHROUGH I don't APPRECIATE IT) He noticed I wasn't singin' and asked if I was ok and I told him we were dancing to my and that travisty's old song and Danny held me a little tighter. geeeeez.

Anyways I donno what else to say just needed to type...how long can this keep goin' on?

NO MORE LOSERRRRRRRRRRS!

2008-02-05T23:28:00.000-08:00

I got asked out again today...that's 5...ugh..on a lighter note, HAPPY MARDI GRAS!

STUPID GIANTS

2008-02-04T18:58:00.000-08:00

To those that haven't heard the story:

Today I got asked out my fourth time at Tri-State but this time above all others took the cake. The guy came in to give a co-worker of mine some money but he said to leave it with the cute girl(me) so the guy was like, "I guess YOU'RE the cutie, huh?"
blah blah blah and then he leaves..fine...but THEN, he comes back, puts two candy bars on the counter and says,"I just gotta find a way to talk to you more." and I was like "I doubt that." so then this guy says, "Why don't you give me your numberrrrrrrr so I can prove it to you." "OK." I say, so I give him a number...A number, not mine, A number. ...I gave him Paul's number so now when he calls it, he will be faced with a blue eyed skinny trombonist with a man's voice as opposed to a brown haired blue eyed hula girl...Call me horrible, but to ask out a girl over power bars and bad winking technique is kinda horrible as well and calls for some humiliating number giving. I wouldn't do this to every guy, but the way he went about it was just so sleazy and greasy that I couldn't resist.

My co-worker Brandon, who is gorgeous asked me if I'd ever do that to a guy like him and I said no, but before I said no he claimed I've scared him off talkin' to girls for a good few days...so win/loss situation but OOOOOOOOh good heavens it was fun...Men, remember this next time you try to hit on a girl you've never seen in your life. Instead of power bars go to the lingerie store and try your luck there.

Holy Moses

2008-02-01T19:45:00.000-08:00

K SO THIS WEEK AT TRI-STATE:

At work, they have two nicknames for me: "wax onwax off" cuz I like cars, and "Newby"...

I got asked out 3 times yesterday....ridiculous; the most memorable attempt that was preceded by multiple "accidental" hand grabs on his part was as follows;

"guy:So you wanna go to lunch?"
" me: I just got done with lunch."
" guy: well, Iiiiii think you should take another one, your friend'll cover for ya."
"co-worker: no, I wont."
" guy:*searches my eyes* so...you don't want to go to lunch with me?"
" me: um, no, thanks for asking though."
" guy-oh....ok (hurt puppy look)"....

It wasn't as flattering as it sounds

One guy came into Tri state and he had a cross tattooed on his left ring finger so being the curious, talkative cashier I am I asked him if it represented anything...He then told me about how he proposed to a girl and five days later she got killed, so he got that tattoo....I felt awful for asking and all I could muster saying was, "that's a sweet story though, least you have faith though right?" The guy kinda smiled, and said, "yeah...You're the first person to ever ask why I have this." It was then I didn't know what to say so I handed him his receipt, gave a sympathetic/sorry smile, and let him go on his way...what a guy, what a life. I felt kinda stupid saying it was a sweet story, but at the same time it's better than just saying "oh, bummer."

Today, as I rung people up I made a comment on a Washington license that I liked how they have a little heart to show they're a donor. The next guy in line gave me his ID and he must have known I was lookin' for the heart cuz he said, "I don't have a heart on mine, I'm a receiver." and I looked up at him and he had the kindest face ever, but I could tell he was tired. His wife rubbed his back sweetly as he told me that. "Awesome, what a lucky guy." I said, he smiled they went on their way and I was suddenly very appreciative of my organs.

And now work is done 'til Monday, I've survived my second week, and get to sleep in tomorrow! Hallelujah! I plan on snowboarding down some local hills, sample some local cuisine, and watch some unlocal football in which the Patriots will kick all ass and I will be in a permanently good mood until Feb. 14th....black Thursday.

since picture blogs=comments...

2008-01-23T19:25:00.001-08:00

Is it vain to say my eyes look absolutely amazing in this picture? No? Good!

So, for the past two months I've been stuck in a certain situation...It's when-you can't-go to sleep-cuz-the-person-you-can't-stop-thinking-about-is-in-your dreams-EVERY-FREAKIN'-NIGHT situation. Even though I'm not suppose to care in the day my mind has a mind of its own at night and it's at this point in time where it decides to play the best scenarios in my head over and over again and even remind me of my favorite memories...It's a scream, let me tell ya.

I'll be at work at my new, well paying job and I'll see these baby-faced blond boys come in with their perfectly ripped jeans or their oily work pants er whatever and they'll flirt with my other cashier co-workers and they'll coo and fawn over the guys and everyone's just eatin' it all up then theres me, sitting there, watching this happen, totally not flirting with anyone and all I'm thinkin' is,"i got to wrap my arms around someone once, you don't remind me of him at all." It's a sticky situation I'm in; a bittersweet mess that I am STILL not letting go of for some reason and I know exactly what that reason is...Ask me if you want to the next time you see me and I'll tell you...maybe...though, one of my four readers already knows.

I'm learning a lot at my new job. I've only been there two days but so far I know what noise a rabbit makes when it's dieing, i know the description of what deer urine smells like, I know how to return/exchange things, I know how to check out a gun, I've mastered my Elk impersonation, I know how much crocks(the shoes)are, I know our prices compared to Cabela's , and I have the best intercom voice ever. If this job weren't so boring I'd never even THINK of giving it up, but it's SO BORING! I stand for 9 hours and wait...just waiting, it's all I do, good thing I'm a patient person...

I've said it before and I'll say it again: God's biggest challenge for me is and might always be: waiting.

The Makings of a New Chapter

2008-01-22T11:25:00.000-08:00

What I have:

Confidence(at times:) )
Hope
Nervousness
Boston's Greatest hits blaring
A crazy amount of free time about to be taken advantage of
A new job

Today I start my first shift at Tri State. Am I scared? Yes, more so than other jobs cuz my ENTIRE duty at tri state will be...you guessed it...CASH REGISTERS. Ahem, I've had a couple experiences with this area of stores, but I will not let that phase me! Right? Right; with my new, awesome mustang poster lookin' me in the eye, the rims sparkling as the cars taunt me, I will succeed! I will not feel like crying, I will not quit after my first shift! I will be strong! THIS! IS! IDAHOOO!

Survey bout MEN

2008-01-20T00:35:00.000-08:00

The Opposite Sex

General
Body or Face
Face

Looks or Personality
Personality but looks matter too despite what everyone says, no one's as noble as they appear

Height
over 5 foot 7

Weight
normal

Hair Color
brown

Eye Color
I'm a sucker for the blues of the world.

Most Important Physical Feature
hands, they either holdja or mame you.

Good/Bad Traits
Funny
Good

Loud
Good as long as it's tastefully loud

Seductive
:)

Quiet
At times it's good

Tall
Yess

Short
hard to kiss

Athletic
Plus

Fat
every body needs some

Immature
TURN OFF!! Unless they're being playful and goofy but oh man thin thread

Competitive
Good to an extent, overly competitive's lame

Hyper
I like hyper

Smoker
cigars I can handle...cigarettes I can not...weird.

Drinker
I don't want a drunk person for a date

Smart
good

Dumb
can't help it..hah!

Observant
rare, soo goooood good good

ht

Gonna hurt, don't care, totally worth it

2008-01-17T17:20:00.000-08:00

So, I just almost DIED.
The sun was setting, it was gorgeous from what I could see...
I wanted more.
I grabbed a coat, put it on, but upside down.
Grabbed another, ran upstairs, grabbed my camera, ran passed a wide eyed Anna.
Ran outside, slipped, fell, hit my head, started laughing histerically.
Anna just says "Kels? you ok?" between her breaths of laughing at me.
"I gotta..SUNSET! ANNA! I..MURPHY! DAMMIT!"
I get up, start my car....windshield COVERED with snow...I start whining, hyperventilating, whimpering.
Anna Yells, "Kels, get in my car!" We go! We riiiiiiiiiiide! We...get stuck in traffic and I almost rip my hair out of my head as I see my sunset slipping away from me. We get to the hill, I haul ass out of the car, take about 5 pictures while Anna stands there in the cold watching her spastic friend indulge in her obsession.
4 minutes later, we're on our way home totally calm like nothing ridiculous just happened. Anna says, "You'd be the best photographer ever! You'd be like "QUICK THE LION'S GETTING AWAY, GO UP THAT ROCKY CLIFF THAT WE MIGHT DIE ON!" " We laaaaaaaugh for about a minute then I start getting sleepy. Now I feel hyper...Concusion? Maybe? Worth it? You tell me:).

You've got a way it seems, you gave me faith to find my dreams

2008-01-14T00:24:00.000-08:00

I don't know what I'm wanting to write about tonight. I don't really have anything fascinating going on in my life and it feels like I'm at a standstill. I have faith that things will pick up again soon, but I just wish SOMETHING amazing was happening to me. Two months ago I was someones girl--tonight I am alone and know that according to every guy I know I'm the platonic friend, no more, no less.

I have never felt so unsuccessful in my entire life. I usually have a job or school or both but right now I have none of those and though it's temporary and I have a few interviews lined up, it's still scary/unsettling. I feel like I'm taking up space and am just a taker. The only thing I feel like I give is company, which is a good, but I wish I contributed more to the world than a shitzu does.

Tara and Patrick just got back from their Honeymoon and their pictures were AWESOME. That there's one good thing about my circumstance: though I feel totally alone and ridiculous for getting dumped, I know that there's a Patrick out there for me, too. I say "a Patrick" because Patrick is not only sweet and good looking, but he's a good Christian guy that's smart as a whip and knows how to treat Tara...besides all that he's head over heels in love with my sister and I see it every time he looks at her. So basically, Patrick's the ultimate man and I hope I marry someone as wonderful as my new brother in law...I hope I get married period! Hahaha, look at me, 20, got the world at my feet(soon as I get funding) and I'm worried about getting married! I use to not really care about that but since I helped plan Trogo's wedding I have a whole bunch of ideas for my wedding and I have decided that I want to be married by the time I'm 25. That gives me five years...I donno if that's a good thing or not right now, I'm kind of out of it. Anyways, next paragraph. (I'm not influenced by anything but sleep deprivation right now, I promise.)

The sun is actually producing heat on earth again! You know what that means!? Spring is coming! This spring wont be as good as last year though I'll betcha but for one particular reason...Yup, you guessed it...last spring brought me romance. Maybe this spring'll bring me enough money for independence thereby allowing me to move out finally, or perhaps someone wonderful will send me 600 dollars and the chance to go to Hawaii again. ORRR, 700 dollars and require me to go to Washington DC when the cherry trees start to blossom...I'd be ok with either of the last two...all three actually would be fine, but oh man, spring of 2007 was incredibly romantic.

Winds of Change

2008-01-06T01:09:00.001-08:00

Sometimes things happen just because they can and it will feel good if only for a short while. The best things happen when you aren't expecting them, this has been proven to me in my life countless times. But then, the things that made you feel so alive and happy and smile all day cease to exist and you're left wondering why they happened in the first place if they were just gonna leave and cause you pain...I know I wonder that, I am right now and I have decided that they help you learn about yourself. You learn what you like, you learn what you can handle, you learn what annoys you, and you learn how you react to things whether they be good or bad. You learn what means the most to you, and most importantly how to treat others, how to love others, and how to let others go the ways they want to go.

Funny part about me writing this is that the title WINDS OF CHANGE just came to me cuz my life is going through a period of transition. ..hard as hell sometimes but I'm getting by...but now I remember what happened yesterday: A HUGE windstorm swept through the Columbia basin leaving a trail of rubble and forcing evacuations for many of WW's citizens. These people weren't expecting this storm, and were concerned when it started making such uncomfortable changes in their lives. Though this is true, the storm subsided as all storms do, the sun came out as it always does, and though peoples' lives were changed by it the storm it is just one in a zillion changes throughout their lives and it will be another memory to tell their children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and future spouses. It's not necessarily something bad, but something incredible that came out of the blue, changed things around and left them a little different then they were before...not necessarily bad, just different, something to learn from...some may be more appreciative, maybe more accepting, maybe more contemplative, but nevertheless, a change came and went and their lives will progress. THOSE were winds of change.

On a completely different note, I use to think that things will be ok if you let them lie and put up with them in your life...WRONG! There's a difference between being sweet and being a pushover...no longer am I as much of a pushover as I was...I still let things slide, but I have taken a stand more, and its good. I may be pretty laid back, but I don't let things that annoy start to be things that annoy to the point of pain...if that makes sense.

You know me, I hate change. I hate letting go of things I want, I hate accepting the fact that I can't change certain things, and I hate when what I want isn't what's suppose to be. I don't know what's gonna happen to me this semester, as of tonight I have no more questions cuz they have all been answered. I am a woman with all the answers to the most recent questions and I have no other choice but to get involved in something, invest in something I love, and try as hard as I can to not live in the past...I have a tendancy to reminisce so I hope I can push forward faster.

Happy 2nd semester everyone.

broken hearts unite

2007-12-28T01:55:00.000-08:00

DMB and I are alike in ONE area more than anything else: We are hopeless romantics..When we fall for someone, we fall long and hard and keep falling until we realize it'll never happen, or someone else catches our eye...This is how we are. Anyways, he wrote this poem after seeing his newly broken-up-with girlfriend and I felt his pain, I know what he's going through. Good poem though, poor guy.

"when dust falls from heaven"
Current mood: melancholy

i open my eyes and see a new world
one more day to live, or eternity to die
was last night a dream or my whole life
it's hard to tell when the world is covered in white
the once decaying earth painted pure
holy white covers even the blackest horns
this winter cloaks evil in divinity
and gives venus a scepter over men's hearts

Are you an Angel, or is it just the snow
Falling 'round your face like a halo
did you fall from on high
I've seen your wings but I've never seen you fly

this celestial dust brings flight
feathered wings damn me to paradise
where I behold a deadly beauty
only a glimpse is offered, a fleeing vision
i stand in still adoration
eyes sprinting, yet i dare not move
for fear of melting wings
and falling back to the dust

D.reamy U.ntainted S.acred K.elsey-approved ;)

2007-12-19T20:05:00.000-08:00

As we all know, I love, love, love, LOVE sunsets even if they remind me of the fact that I once had a gorgeous guy wrapped around me watching them...I can't forget about sunsets, I live to watch them and will alllllllways love them, it's like the perfect thing to unendingly love; something that's gorgeous, sweet, faithful, poetic, mysterious, gentle, harmless, unique, and will never play hard to get.

I was thinkin' tonight in my sunset-less night how much I miss them because, as we all know in the Western winters, the sunsets are harder to see because of the clouds/rain/snow/cold, yet they're still there. It still happens every night for us to ooh and aah at, but unless you have an inside view, these days they're harder to come by. So, while I was mulling all this over in my head I have come to a conclusion...it's nothing overblown or intensely life changing, but it is a conclusion none the less that I am somewhat relived by (I'll tell you why later..second to last paragraph). I have seen Hawaiian sunsets, and I have seen western sunsets. I've seen them in Honolulu, Wallowa, Walla Walla, Pullman, Moscow, Boise, Missoula, Potlatch, Troy, Salt Lake City, Denver, Seattle, Spokane, Couer d' Alane, and so many other places and I have decided that my favorites are those that take place in my home town...with one exception...

They're usually orange and pink in the Heart of the Arts, and I can almost predict which colour will be which day, but though they are predictable and hard to get to sometimes, I'd much rather see a sunset from a mountain 30 miles from home rather than anywhere else. Don't get me wrong, I'm still infatuated with Hawaii, sand, sunsets, palm trees, and the romance all that brings, I love it there, always will, but a sunset here means so much more to me because it's like it's almost my own.

Some may be thinking, "this girl has too much time on her hands if she feels this is blog worthy." Think that if you want, but I have realized something: Me loving these sunsets means I am living my life here, not somewhere else. I'm noticing them, I'm watching them, and they make me think that these are the days I'm going to remember; those moments of silence and awe are my life. I want to travel, and I want to go places, but I'm learning to "live in the now" here, not somewhere 200 miles north like I did not too long ago...That chapter of my life started to end around last December. There was a lull up until March, which brought in something short, and sweet...which has yet again,come to a close. Now I just have to learn to enjoy the past and not dwell on it.

I love the fact that the events in our life that we don't plan are those that make the best memories, and I know that's why I love my western sunsets...(and my southern pacific ones.) There really is no point to all this, I'm just appreciative of the sky getting painted every night but today I realized I'm a little more content than I thought...which is good! So there you go, nothing monumental or mind bending, just a hopeless romantic shootin' the breeze day-dreaming of the end of each day.

Barbies and Traaains for my little sis and meeee

2007-12-09T17:38:00.000-08:00

Despite the never ending pictures, we DO hang out with other people in college.:) Anyways, my Christmas concert went awesomely. During the song Eternal Father Anna and I both lost it during the most powerful part of the song...that's just ridiculous when you hang out with someone so much you start balling on camera at the same time...Yes, they were recording and yes, I'm pretty sure they noticed the two sopranos side by side with tears falling from their eyes and their voices cracking...Good bonding experience though.:P

Tomorrow I turn in my final paper and I stop going to school for 8 months...it will be really weird only going to Jazz Choir events, but I still think it is a smart decision on my part. I've found many good jobs in the local paper and have a lot of promising possibilities lined up.

Last night I had a really good dream that I was hanging out with the old B** friend and it was absolutely wonderful...Then I woke up and realized it didn't happen. I thought I was over this, but that made me realize that though I may find many guys these days very attractive, only one still really holds my attention...BUT I now finish my dinner every night so Woo!

There's a Christmas Tree in my house now! My mamma's decorating it as we speak. It was a nice blast from the past listening to Russ Taff and watching dad put up the lights on our freshly cut piece of forest. Patrick, my new brother in law is a logger and so we save $20 every Christmas until he and my sister leave the area. Woo!

That's all I really have to update you all on. Hope work, school, travel, family, friends, romances are all as they should be. Aloha.

The Infamous Day

2007-12-07T08:46:00.000-08:00

Today is December 7th. 66 years ago today was one of the most terrifying days America had ever seen. It's Pearl Harbor Day, everyone. I know you all are aware of what happened 66 years ago, but I suggest being Patriotic and taking some time to remember what happened. Reading this could count, just make sure you don't live today without remembering those that died that then.
When I went to Pearl I saw the oil still leaking out, I read all the names of the people that died, and I threw a flower in the harbor there. Strangest part of all of that was while it was at least 80 degrees, it felt so cold on that memorial...Guess that's when happens when you're hovering over a tomb for over 1100 soldiers. Anyways, don't forget to remember, guys. Aloha.

Arizona Memorial.

The Shaw Explosion.

A new poem I wrote

2007-12-03T20:20:00.000-08:00

"End of another Era- First Semester 2007"

Being pulled all four ways
Unsure where to follow
The choices you make
Effect your tomorrow
The cuts you invoke
And the compromises you take
Meld into your future
Every day you awake

It's so hard sometimes
Remaining so strong
But there are instincts you've had in yourself
All along

You know what is right, and you know what is wrong
You always find home even if the road's long

Sometimes a heart's strongest
When tested and tried
Still, long live the heart
That stayed strong while it cried

To those that feel weary
To those feeling sad
One thing is still certain
There's joy to be had

Life tests us and taunts us
It breaks all the rules
It turns failures to heroes
And heroes to fools

But fear not, dear friends
Relaxation's at hand
Finish strong and you'll see just how firm you can stand

Your mind wont be weary
Your brain wont be fried
Just think of the satisfaction
Of how hard you tried

At last you can smile
Behold, you may sleep
Forget all bad memories
But good memories? Keep.

(copyright: Kelsey Hebert)